The Secret of the Girl Behind the Boobs

Last week's issue officially kicked off the Infinite Crisis event with admittedly less than shaky results. It was a story that didn't know how to thread the thematic core conflict it wished to tell into the action of the story, resulting in an issue in which the Big Three stood around bickering while we would occasionally cut to action elsewhere, most of which were bleedover from ongoing stories happening in other books that weren't well explained enough for me to fathom what was actually happening, but giving me enough of a glimpse to realize that there were nuggets of actually interesting stories in the margins. I don't know. Maybe now when I'm writing this in late 2016, I'm exhausted from a decade of hero vs hero events, that dedicating the launch of a cosmic level event to the internal conflict of these three just left me feeling like this event might have some framing issues.

Issue #2 turned out to be a bit better, although I honestly think the story had nowhere to go but up.

We start out at the home of Animal Man, where he is looking for his space suit before he can head out to join the Titans' "Save the Entire Universe" coalition. He explains to his wife that his powers (which I assume uses the same sort of principal as Vixen's, minus the mystical totem) have been going haywire ever since the crisis began, not unlike how dogs can tell when there is going to be an earthquake.

How literal a "moon base" can we get on a Titan salary?

The Escher stairs are being installed
next Thursday. 

He teleports by super speed pinball (?) to the staging area of the mission, which looks to be a cyberpunk version of an ancient Greek cityscape nestled into an asteroid shaped like a crescent moon (or maybe a moon that has been hollowed out to look more cartoonish). This is New Cronus, which doubles as their method to getting to the center of the universe. It turns out this thing is also a ship, which sounds incredibly implausible.

It turns out that Animal Man isn't the only canary in the proverbial coal mine, as a character whose brain is basically a ham radio starts flipping out over all the SOS signals he's getting from across the universe. A bit of research showed that this kid is Hal Jordan's nephew, also named Hal Jordan. I wonder if they initially tried to pass him off as the real Hal Jordan after the last reality reboot, like with the new Wally West.

We finish this scene drawing our attention to Supergirl, who tells us that there is no word in Kryptonian for "escape." Will that fascinating xenolinguistic anecdonte amount to anything in this narrative? Don't hold your breath.

Even a giant's hands aren't big enough to
cover up the ladies.

The only reason I can think of why they would end this page with her is that the following opens with a shot of Power Girl. My knowledge of Power Girl is pretty much limited to the New 52 World's Finest series. I somehow suspect in between Infinite Crisis and the New 52, they concluded that her breasts were cartoonishly over-sized... like the artist used a then-contemporary Pamela Anderson as a point of reference. I'm going to come back to this, undoubtedly, but let me just warn you that her physical proportions are... disconcerting.

"She's a Barbie Girl in a Male Gaze World..."

I don't want to fixate on Power Girl's breasts, but the fact of the matter is the artist is making it impossible not to. Power Girl is well-known for her ample bosoms, I was surprised about just how ridiculous they are. They are so endowed that half the time, it makes her head look shrunken. Even with a giantess on the scene, it's her breasts that cause me to wonder whether or not that can actually exist in nature. She looks like pretty messed up.

What good is a cape if I can see your ass?!

Between her extreme "WWE Divas" musculature, breasts that would put Dolly Parton to shame, and a costume that both puts the girls out on display while also basically being an arrow pointing to her vaginal area she basically resembles less a superhero than the embodiment of the toxic male gaze.

There must have been a different artist for the cover because Power Girl looks a lot less like a short-haired Anna Nicole Smith doll that's been through the wash a couple times and a lot more like a viable human form. The ladies are still very much on display, mind you. The artist clearly knows how to advertise to 12-year-olds who are into boobs. In fact, they even extended an olive branch to the butt crowd with the variant cover. Seriously, how is her cape fluttering up like that when they are indoors at an extra-dimensional room full of reality tv screens?

Kal-L narrates about her post-crisis background. This version of Power Girl was discovered on Earth an amnesiac doppelganger (I think the writer meant "Jane Doe," unless there is a definition of doppelganger I'm unaware of) and that she has gone through life without a sense of direction or importance, and yet she keeps fighting. Given that, he is proud of her and quite happy to greet her when he rushes in to assist her when outnumbered and greets her as his cousin.

Stranger danger, Karen! Call an adult!

I am going to put a pin in the Kal-L and Power Girl story for now because that's really going to be the main thrust of this issue.

For now though, we have a lot of  one-or-two-page-long vignettes about all the other things going on in the DC Universe. Some of these tie in to what we've seen last issue, while others-- just like last time-- feel completely random and we don't get a full explanation.

At the Daily Planet, Perry White assigns Lois to write on the recently uncovered bodies of the Freedom Fighters (Ray and Uncle Sam are still MIA). He seems particularly riled up over this story because "they were American heroes."

Like I said last time, I feel like this team was selected for the chopping block because of the built-in patriotic symbolism. Keep in mind, this was conceived of and written in the years immediately following 9/11. I guess it was still in the era when playing up American patriotism and using clunky symbolism in order to achieve a galvanized sense of national pride was still considered moving instead of distasteful.

Mind you, I'm not taking as much issue with the idea as much as the execution. The Freedom Fighters are career C-listers. In fact, if you look up C-List Fodder on TVTropes, DC Comics has its own sub-heading and the Freedom Fighters feature prominently. If not for the fact that the team is led by a guy who goes around looking like Uncle Sam, this team would have been in the clear. This team got taken from their habitual role of warming the proverbial bench just because DC editorial needed someone to die to kick off their event while also blatantly tugging at the heartstrings of post-9/11 America.

Did I mention this came out the same year as Marvel's Civil War storyline?

Lois finds her spouse around the office, staring pensively at a framed headline from that time he died, which I suspect would be a sore subject to begin with let alone last issue Batman put salt in the wound by accusing Clark of not being inspirational since then. Just to give you a frame of reference, the Death of Superman arc ended in January of 1993 and he was back before that year was out. In the intervening time, Superman has had twelve years' worth of series across multiple solo titles as well as being a mainstay of Justice League. To accuse Superman of not being inspirational in all that time is cold and unfeeling even by the standards of Batman.

Ever get the feeling that you're reading a book set in the Darkest Timeline from Community?

I feel like they wanted to put in a pep talk, but for the sake of squeezing everything into this book, Clark settles for a kiss. Then he just switches from his Kent persona to Superman in the middle of the hallway (I guess it's a secluded wing of the office) and goes off to... something(?) I think he might have been going to seek out the Secret Society, considering without his super hearing he and presumably everyone in a five floor radius has heard Perry's half of his conversation with Lois. Seriously, Perry White's superhero handle would be "ALLCAPS MAN."

Speaking of the Secret Society, there is a two page sequence that is essentially just housekeeping and letting the reader know which books to read based on which villains they like. It's a handful of characters in presumably a "secret volcano lair" coordinating plans with characters on monitors and telling you where other characters who are visible on monitors will be. For me, this kind of scene is a lot like getting a flu shot. It's quick, it's necessary, but I will find any number of things to do other than read this kind of scene.

However, we get a twist when we immediately discover who has been eavesdropping on this entire scene. Even though he is a participant in this scene: Lex Luthor. But this Lex doesn't know why he's hearing himself on his radio. Also, the reader doesn't know why he's in his super Silver Age green and purple power suit. Then again, having only a touch and go understanding of post-Crisis DC, I wonder why he is an older bald man instead of a ruggedly  handsome bearded ginger or why he's not president. Or why he's an outright villain instead of a sly puppetmaster who manages to keep his hands clean. But I'm going to go out on a limb and say the retro power suited Lex is an extra dimensional hand-me-down who somehow ended up here when Kal-L punched a hole in reality.

Well that tacky color combo would make
anyone have trouble thinking straight.

What is weird to Lex is that just as he is about to launch into a villain speech, his brain basically shuts down on him. He forgets what he was about to say, he can't seem to get a clear thought, and not even he knows what he's doing in that garish battle suit. Just then, he looks up to see the telltale sign of two blue and red streaks shoot across the sky....

Meanwhile, Booster Gold is back from a jaunt through the timestream. Good to know he left. And he's back to retrieve his OTP's prized possession, the Blue Beetle Scarab, which last we saw what accidentally dropped in the Wizard Shazam's cave. I bet the Spectre killing him for... reasons... will throw a wrench into that plan and that DC is heavily convinced that this glorified cameo will pique your interest in finding out what happened to Kord's alien and/or magic bug thing.

A real world decision in the writer's room must have been to reverse the best tie-in scenes for Wonder Woman and Batman characters to make up for how awfully the came off looking last issue.

First we get this incredibly amazing scene where the Joker is torturing a member of the Royal Flush Gang. In case the name doesn't give it away, they are a playing card-themed team of villains, traditionally they tend to be thieves or hired muscle for villains with much higher schemes. It seems he's miffed about being at being left out of Luthor's Secret Society Games. And of course King of Spades has no problem with calling a spade a spade and telling him off. Joker electrocutes him to death with his joy buzzer. Well, what did you think was going to happen, King?

Then as Joker walks away, we see all the dismembered, maimed, and otherwise dead bodies of the RF gang. Sometimes, I forget just how effective a character the Joker can be. I generally view him the way I view Deadpool. He's at his best when he's used in moderation and becomes less engaging when he is at the center of drawn out arcs, or in recent cinematic past, in films he didn't need to be in. Also, "body horror" Joker really doesn't work for me either.

Alfred: He'll regret this when I write my tell-all book.

In the Batcave, Alfred is trying to treat Bruce's injuries, but it is clear that Batman is growing unhinged. Or, well, even more unhinged for a guy who runs around dressed like a bat so that he can punch people with actual superpowers into submission. Once he yells at Alfred to go away, his computer screens light up with a pink light and we see a giant Egyptian-style eye.

Bruce recognizes it as Brother Eye. And it's here that we find out that he created this thing in order to spy on meta humans and other terrestially based super-powered beings basically because he's still miffed over Zatana erasing five minutes of his memory. Imagine if she'd erased the memory of seeing his parents get gunned down right in front of him. Maybe his personality would have adjusted seismically and he could be a sane, well-adjusted person.

Not only is Brother Eye the result of Batman's paranoia, but it turns out so are the OMACs. Yeah, Brother Eye is so committed to his programmed mission statement to keep meta-humans from threatening the Earth (read: "Bruce Wayne's fragile sense of security") that it turned apparently thousands of unsuspecting humans into sleeper cyborgs who can be activated and having their free will overridden at a moment's notice in order to achieve Brother Eye's objectives.

I feel like THIS should have been more of a focal point.

Brother Eye also has a quirk of saying "Eye" instead of "I" when using the first person singular and I have a hard time deciding if that would be more irritating in print or out loud.

Finally, we cut to Themiscyra, where Wonder Woman and a cadre of female superheroines are all battling the OMACs. There's not much to say about it, but it is truly a spectacular bit of action that, once again we only get a glimpse of.

Also would have light THIS to be the main conflict.

Finally, we return to the Kal-L/Power Girl story. Keep in mind, this is the subplot they decided to feature on the cover. It's what they are using to sell this issue. Want to know what earth-shattering plot point happens? Do you think you can handle this? Okay, get ready for your jaws to drop to the floor.

Her breasts are WAY too close to her cousin's crotch. Just sayin'...

Kal-L and Alexander Luthor summarize a twenty-year-old storyline. I mean, they do eventually restore Power Boob Girl's mammaries memories, but essentially they exist in this issue to be an expositor and an audience surrogate. To be fair, it had been 20 years since Crisis on Infinite Earths and there are younger readers and casual readers who inevitably need some context. However, seven of 28 pages, a full quarter of the issue is dedicated to explaining an old plotline, including the complex multiverse cosmology. Exposition is a thankless chore, granted, but this one feels like a thankless chore that has been heavily labored in the hopes of getting a pat on the back afterwards.

Also, the exposition paints D-Cups as this special, special snowflake who managed to survive the Crisis because she has a unique purpose. He thinks she is the sole individual from Earth 2 slipped through the cracks of reality because she must have some important destiny. But clearly the writer only read a summary of the event he is failing to succinctly summarize because this conclusion is emphatically not what we learned in the original. In fact Kal-L's description of events even covers.

Basically, everyone who was at the site of the battle with the Anti-Monitor at the beginning of time survived when the Earths were all merged into one. Most of the non-Earth-1 remainders ended up being killed afterward, except Earth-2's Kal-L and his Lois Lane-Kent, and Earth-Prime's Superboy, who all went to live in a heavens pocket universe. Everyone else had no doppelgangers who survived-- that includes Wonder Bra here because Earth-1's Supergirl famously died in Crisis and up until very recently DC's publication history, the Supergirls that appeared afterward explicitly wasn't "Superman's younger cousin." In fact the new Supergirl who had surfaced a few years earlier was "Superman's older cousin who just seems younger because... plot stuff."

Hell. She isn't even the sole survivor of Earth-2. I know that Jay Garrick is around, and even in this issue, we saw Psycho-Pirate, as well as Alan Scott and at least one of his children. This explanation Kal-L is giving her does not hold up well under scrutiny.

Finally we find out what Kal-L's objective is. He thinks that the wrong Earth survived Crisis. In case you didn't read my last installment, he arrived at this conclusion because they did nothing in their supposed heaven dimension by watching nothing but vast numbers of screens showing events playing out on New Earth.

Have you tried flying around the
Earth counter-clockwise?

One plot point that I have failed to mention until now, in fact the comic doesn't reveal it until very late as well, is that upon leaving their heavenly reality, Earth-2 Lois immediately started dying. Kal-L immediately explains that this is what the existing reality does: it actively targets the elderly and kills them. Maybe one of the channels they got in that heavenly screening room was playing Final Destination.

My interpretation of events is that Lois was already old back in 1985. Living in this pocket dimension basically halted the ravages of time and leaving it basically caused the ravages of time to catch up with them. The others all have reason why they don't visibly age, but from Kal-L's perspective, it's as though this world is actively targeting Lois.

Well, of course, you think the world is fucked when you do nothing but watch reality TV all day.

Now he is determined to fix it by restoring Earth-2 to existence and erase the existing reality. Bearing in mind that Earth-2 has a more Golden Age wholesome affect to it, it's like someone saying "life was better in the good old days" except Kal-L has the power to bust through reality like the Kool-Aid guy, so he possibly could make this happen, regardless of how adversely this could effect the billions of lives of the extant reality.

Ye gods! Earth-2 Superman has become an incredibly well meaning Donald Trump and he sincerely does want to make the DC Universe great again. He's out of touch with reality. He surrounds himself with yes men (one is literally hid younger self). He plans to ruin the world in order to bring his idea of "great again" into being. He mansplains. He gets angry at the TV. And he's looking a bit too longingly at a younger female family member who is well-endowed. Ye gods, when will he start tweeting angrily at the cast of Hamilton or SNL?!

I'm scared.

Send help.

I was going for a "Superman in a Trump hat" picture, but this just feels better.

Old Man Kent and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

Five panels do not equal one cover.

Oddly enough, last week centered around an issue in which an older male character who derailed the narrative flow of the story because he was a square peg forcibly being hammered into a round hole of a story and has a tendency to suck all the air out of the room, so he's constantly pulling focus. This week however, we have an older male character who can literally suck all the air out of the room who wakes up and discovers that he has become a square peg in a round hole and manages to bring true, sorrowful pathos into a series where they just beat a Mega Man boss fight. Join me as I explore DC Comics' Crisis on Infinite Earths #11.

Normally, I would start off giving my opinion of the cover. However, I really don't know how to discuss a cover that doesn't bother to do what a cover is meant to accomplish. Namely, a cover is meant to create a singular unified image that lures in the reader by hinting at what the story inside will be like. In issue #11, however, the cover is a bunch of panels. Issue #3 had done a similar trick, but it had the virtue of using the Monitor looking over the various tableaux depicted like a benevolent deity looking over the world. This on the other hand makes no effort to unify the different images. It's just a collection of unused art thrown together. The individual images are nice, don't get me wrong, but they don't constitute a singular crystallized visual thesis.

Up top, it looks like Kid Flash and Superman-1 are keeping Superman-2 from being sucked into a vortex.

Middle left, Wonder Woman-1 and Donna Troy are facing down Wonder Woman-2 and her daughter, Fury, in Themiscyra. I smell hijinks. Wacky ones.

Dead center Lyla is once again. Or at least her head is, as it stares out at the reader.

Middle right, Dr. Fate, Etrigan, and The Phantom Stranger are coming to the rescue of a character who you'd only recognize in this series if you'd paid attention to the Monitor Tapes last issue.
Down below, an array of characters look on in trepidation, as characters tend to do in this series. What caught my attention in this panel is the number of Bat family members is this panel. Alfred, Batman, and Jason Todd flank an embracing Robin-2 and Huntress. It's basically Batman, his surrogate father and his children both surrogate and natural, both Earth-1 android Earth-2.

The issue starts with an image of the Earth. It echoes back to the first issue where we saw the birth of the multiverse, except the narration makes it clear that there is only one universe now.

Perry doesn't give a single fuck as long
as nobody sits in his spot. See also:
Sheldon Cooper

ERth -2 Clark Kent wakes up in his apartment, thinking that the past 10 issues were a horrible dream. I think "prolonged, poorly paced fever dream" might be a bit closer to the truth than horrible, but on with the show. He's confused as to why his wife Lois isn't by his side, but shrugs it off and gets dressed for work. Once there, he goes to his office as he usually does when he's angrily met with the office's rightful owner Perry White. Clark is confused and lost for words when he is rescued out by the Clark of Earth-1, who passes Clark-2 off as his slightly dotty uncle. There is an exchange between Earth-1 Clark and Perry that suggests that Perry is aware of Clark's dial identity, but Perry is pretty coy about it.

Okay, there is a lot of interaction between these two this issue, so for simplicity's sake, I'll call Earth-1 "Clark" and Earth-2 "Old Man Kent."

The two Supermen suit up and take to the air, attempting to sort out the situation. Old Man Kent concludes that he must simply be on Earth-1 and is eager to get back to his wife. The very next thought he has is to tell Clark that he should settle down with his Lois, too. Geez, Old Man Kent might either be projecting, playing Yente the Matchmaker, or both.

It might be a bit more complicated than Old Man Kent simply being displaced. They both recognize that they woke up that morning thinking the events of crisis were simply nightmares, and for the most part the rest of the world, at least those they've encountered since waking up can't even say that much. There are some things that they recall, albeit hazily. There's common memory of Supergirl dying in battle, but the specifics aren't there anymore. When they touch down on solid confront a cop, who doesn't even recognize Old Man Kent, despite Earth-2 being a long-standing known quantity at this point.

Joan Garrick: Real Housewife of NJ

They resume their flight, but then they spot a sign for the Twin Cities, Central and Keystone City. But wait... aren't they supposed to be opposite reality analogues of one another? Old Man Kent spots the home of Joan and Jay Garrick, the elderly Flash of Earth-2. Joan, who is multitasking cooking barbecue and wearing a bumpit, which makes me think Keystone might be along the Jersey Coast. Maybe Ocean City. Considering Metropolis is supposed to be New York City, it makes sense that this is their first pit stop. Well, Joan recognizes Clark alright, but wonders who his older friend is. It's also fairly well-insinuated that she knows Clark as Superman, whereas previously the Kents and the Garricks were longstanding family friends. Old Man Kent's bewilderment gets to take a break, however, when Jay comes out and hallelujah! Someone recognizes Old Man Kent.


Jay takes the two down to his lab, where we also find Wally West finishing up repairs on the cosmic treadmill. Leave it to the Flash family to caucus and form a plan in the face of confusion faster than anybody else. I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I kind of love the Allen-West-Garrick clan. They're all noble, if a little bit dorky, but unashamedly so.

The group discuss the details of what appears to be a mixed up, merged timeline, although they dance around outright calling it that. The basic fact of the matter is that in the world in which they all find themselves, characters from Earth-1 and Earth-2 seem to have shared a history... except for Old Man Kent, who nobody remembers.

We're sorry. The reality you dialed is no longer in service.

Jay suspects that they are on neither of their worlds and Old Man Kent seriously doesn't like the sound of that. On that note, Wally lets them know that the Cosmic Treadmill is prepped and ready to go and that he intends to go looking for Barry after they're done here. The four of them but the their pedals to the metal and the Cosmic Treadmill does it's thing. Whereas once, they would have found themselves on another Earth, they now find themselves in a gaping abyss of nothingness.

They realize there are no longer other realities except the one they woke up on. Wally suggests they get back to the remaining world and figure out what's going on, but Old Man Kent, concluding that he doesn't belong in a world where nobody seems to remember him, thinks he's better off here and begins to fly off. Clark grabs him by the cape, preventing him from flying off into oblivion and the speedsters hotfoot the Cosmic Treadmill with all speed to get them out of there before Old Man Kent can break free. They rematerialize back in Jay's workshop and the Treadmill is smashed to smithereens, which is convenient now that it serves absolutely no purpose. Wally suggests that they gather as many people together as possible to figure things out, and he knows just the place...

Behold as your innocence curls up and dies.

So yeah, that last paragraph had a lot going on, so I just want to reiterate this in case it got lost in the shuffle. Superman just attempted suicide. That's a big deal. Not only is it disturbing because, being the Superman of Earth-2, and thus the Golden Age iteration, he's technically the Superman readers have known the longest, but it's also incredibly unsettling when you consider what Superman is. He's a paragon of hope. Hell, that's what the "S" shield on his chest means in Kryptonian. For him to fall into such utter despair over the course of a morning really shakes you and drives home how world shattering this is. For once, I like the fact that this isn't neat and tidy. This is bringing some real pathos without delivering another funeral for a friend/noble sacrifice scenario. Old Man Kent just had his whole world taken away from him and what few people do remember him won't let him take away his own life as well.

Old Man Kent's goth phase came rather late in life...

Elsewhere in space, Rory Williams, er, I mean, Rip Hunter and a bunch of people I don't care about have found Brainiac's space vessel, where both it and Brainiac's body itself seem to be dead or inert. Right. DC Comics is going to kill him twice in three issues and off-panel, no less. Oh, DC. You really have me believing. Let me sign up for a pyramid scheme while I'm at it.

Brainiac's dead? I'll have a better time believing forwarding a
chain letter will bring me riches and fame.

Over at Titans Tower, all the newly condensed world's heroes are gathered to discuss what we already know. Only those of them who were on-site for last issue's climactic battle are able to remember the previous existence of the multiverse. Quite notably, Lyla is once again in her Harbinger persona. When that is questioned after having declared that she'd never be able to be Harbinger again, she asserts that much that once was has been rewritten.

Lyla couldn't wait to try on that
ugly brides maids gown a second time.

There are a lot of heartstring-tugging moments in this sequence, such as Lady Quark recognizing Old Man Kent as a man without a world, just as she and Pariah are. I have a feeling that now that he's been absolved of his guilt in the destruction of the multiverse, Lady Quark is going out of her way to be his friend in order to sublimate her rage. They seem to only appear together in this issue-- including the cover.

But I think I have to give the sob story award for the issue to Huntress. There have been a couple different Huntresses and I feel like it's necessary to give a little backstory for this to really understand the impact: In this era, Huntress was Helena Wayne. She is the adult daughter of Earth-2's Batman, Bruce Wayne, and reformed Selina Kyle, Catwoman. As such, Alfred is her surrogate grandfather and Dick Grayson her surrogate brother... also, technically her boss in the law firm she ends up joining. She adopts her superhero persona after her mother is blackmailed by a former associate into donning her Catwoman persona and subsequently caused her death. Not long after becoming Huntress, her father passed away as well.

He didn't destroy my entire world.
We're BFFs 4ever!

I know a lot of people, especially in my age demographic, she is better known as mafia princess turned anti-mafia vigilante, Helena Bertinelli. In fact, I even remember a conversation in which a lifelong DC fan was upset when New 52 continuity relapsed to Helena Wayne. Speaking for myself, I have always liked the concept of the Bat-Family. In fact, I have a hard time relating to Batman when operating independently of them. I suspect saying that might be blasphemy, but I always like Batman better when that "I work alone and live on a consistent diet of justice and angst" mentality is counterbalanced by his mentorship and pseudo-parental guidance. It humanizes him without diminishing his otherness. However, much like what I like about Damian Wayne actively trying to connect with his father in the present, there is something so fantastically tragic about Helena Wayne losing that connection and trying to live up to her father's memory.

Tying that back into the actual story at hand, Helena relates an account of like Old Man Kent, waking up and discovering she doesn't exist in this world when she goes to her apartment and finding someone else living there. Her story culminates in a painful moment when she describes going to where her father's grave ought to be and finding its absence. Then who is she joined by but fellow Bat-Family member and Crisis survivor Dick Grayson, who embraces her like only a protective older brother could.

The best Dick Grayson is big bro Dick.

Pardon me. Looking for some Kleenex... okay, back to the review.

Lyla takes the floor and goes into a lengthy speech about how histories have been altered and merged in the wake of the unified universe's rebirth. As such, certain characters whose existences critically overlap now find that their histories never happened. Only one Tom and Martha Wayne were gunned down in Crime Alley. Only one shuttle was sent from Krypton on the eve of its annihilation. I know in-universe, this is pretty major, but I have to admit that it really sounds like this issue is going to great pains to make sure you understand what's happening. I feel like a teacher is talking to me ridiculously slowly and clearly while pressing visual aids up to my face.

We have to take you out of the story before
someone realizes you're just a She-Ra clone.

Elsewhere, a bunch of occult heroes come to the aid of Amethyst. Yeah, like I said, instead of giving you a taste of what's going on in this issue, this cover just gives away surprises. Amethyst apparently is another multiverse refugee. My problem with her inclusion here is that her existence, like Superboy-Prime's, diminishes the narrative impact of the scenario Wolfman and Perez established. Initially, it was only the denizens of the five Earths who survived. With each extra-dimensional character that appears whose Earth wasn't included in Lyla's remaining Earths council, it just makes me think that the Anti-Monitor really doesn't take his shtick seriously. Then again, I'm growing more confident in my conclusion that he's a sub-par main antagonist.

They help her escape from a crowd of superstitious villagers... in Las Vegas? You know what? I'm not overthinking it. This interlude is shoehorned in and I'm fairly convinced they included her under editorial edict. Moving on before I waste another brain cell.

Not understanding what is going on or where she is, Amethyst attempts to return to her reality of Gemworld (it's a truly, truly, truly outrageous place), but something both bars the portal she creates and blinds her in the process. Dr. Fate steadies her, but on looking her in the eye, he recognizes something about her and realizes that she cannot stay on Earth and opens a portal to return her to her reality. Goddammit, DC! Didn't we just spend over half an issue going into agonizing detail about how there is only one reality now? You couldn't wait a full issue?

In the background of this subplot, however, are ominous pink clouds and the Anti-Monitor's shadow warriors. They go completely unnoticed.

Old Man Kent really does get the shortest stick here.
He lost his history and he's too old to start anew.

In the skies above, Clark chases down a despondent Old Man Kent. He refuses to give up on the elder Superman in his time of need, just as Old Man Kent didn't give up on him. Old Man Kent is at his lowest ebb. With the world rewritten and everything he once knew gone, he finds himself in a world where the one person who means the most to him has never existed. And here he is a man with no place in the world. Both of these are merely the result of the whim of fate. He has no sense of place or purpose in this world. I would argue that this moment is tragically short, but it's just so beautifully sad a moment that to tamper with it would spoil it.

Back at Titans Tower, we get a few more instances in which this continuity clean up results in more problems than solutions. Donna Troy relates her experience on far away on Themiscyra Paradise Island. Wonder Woman and her sorta sister meet Wonder Woman and her daughter. And that's about it. I didn't get my wacky hijinks. I just got awkwardness. Meanwhile, Power Girl doesn't understand why she is remembered but Old Man Kent isn't. My no-prize answer is that her defining attribute isn't being Kryptonian. It's her boob window. Maybe that protected her.

He has traumatic past life memories about
his clashing green and purple wardrobe.

Batman, Robin (the young Jason Todd one, for clarity's sake), and Alexander Luthor report that they checked out Lex Luthor, who they found in prison. Not only does this Luthor not remember the events of Crisis, but he actually shows an incredible amount of disdain for costumed super-persons as a rule. Knowing that we're trading in the mad scientist in green and purple power armor for the sly, Machiavellian power broker we're all much more familiar with, we can see the transition evident here without it being really concrete about the direction the character would be taking, which would ultimately be codified in John Byrne's The Man of Steel mini series.

I found the inclusion of Alexander Luthor feels odd in this instance. Yes, I can understand why he would be there. He has previously demonstrated a curiosity about his father (in retrospect, I realize he was creeping on a private moment between Old Man Kent and Old Lady Lois because she was his mother on Earth-3), but last time they were face to face, we had insight into how Alexander views his father's doppelganger, and by extension, Alexander as a person, as opposed to Alexander as a walking macguffin. However, he is just present in this scene, which is unfortunate. It felt like he is utilized in this scene more to give him a presence in the issue than to further his character.

Finally, Changeling finally has the wherewithal to move the plot forward. As poignant as some  of these scenes of singular universe realization have been, they've overstayed their welcome. Gar points out the ominous pink clouds, which the narration does us a solid by illustrating just how widespread they've become. And by "widespread," I mean "global." Why do I think this is such a glorious boon? Well, not to put too fine a point on it, we get to see more of Gorilla City. I'm generally more of a Bronze Age/Modern Era reader, but I have to give credit to this most silly of Silver Age inventions. Sam Simeon appears in all of one panel, but I think he might be my new favorite. It's also nice to see that Solovar has been upgraded from "probably dead" to "seriously injured" due to DC's hard reset to continuity.

Pariah is the heroes' equivalent of a canary in a mine shaft.

Elsewhere, the Challengers of the Unknown continue to be characters I don't care about. At least the off-brand GI Joe characters we met during the "protect quest" portion of the early issues had the decency to include a haunted tank. These guys, I'm sorry. Wolfman and Perez have done a decent job with making us feel somewhat acquainted with a wide array of characters from DC's catalog, but the Challengers fall flat. Then again, with such interesting and bizarre characters peopling the DCU, a bunch of science guys who don't really have a visible story hook and seemingly exist to exposit scientifically are doomed to underwhelm. Anyway, whilst spelunking they find an entire underground cavern full of the evil anti-matter pink storm clouds.

Back at Titans Tower, Gar compares the storm to Ghostbusters, presumably the scene after Walter Peck unleashed the ghost containment tank. Lady Quark notices Pariah vanishing. She looks genuinely concerned, despite how frequently this happens. Again, further supporting my assertion that she is overcompensating for having spent so much time hating him. Pariah seems to be caught halfway through being teleported away and sounds especially pained by the experience. Meanwhile, Alexander Luthor's body is once again half antimatter. So yeah, his brief existence as a character has ended and he's once again a full-fledged macguffin.

Oh, like you weren't thinking it...

It is finally becoming quite apparent to everyone that they aren't out of the Crisis woods just yet. On a rooftop above, Clark and Old Man Kent look up and see an astral outline of the Anti-Monitor staring down at the last Earth, making a proclamation of, "Welcome to your doom!"

I'm going to have to call shenanigans on this final splash page. Oh, it's perfectly serviceable, don't get me wrong. My problem with it is that it's an example of what I also complained about with the cover: laziness in the art. It's less noticeable than the cover mind you. Whereas the cover looks like a few random unused panels tossed together in a failed attempt to create a singular definitive thesis, this is an example of a recycled moment. I probably wouldn't even notice or care if it was in some random issue of New Teen Titans, and honestly that would be an excellent way to illustrate Trigon. However, in the same story, one that even to this day purports to be the biggest story DC has ever told, it shows either a lack of creativity or a fondness for shortcuts to repeat a final page reveal for the penultimate issue in the same cosmic style as that of the second issue. I could see an argument for symmetry, but I doubt it, especially considering the last couple issues haven't even bothered with final reveals.

No, really, guys. I'm totally going to destroy you all, this time.
I mean it. Why are you laughing?

I'm honestly not sure what my final opinion of this issue is. On the one hand, looking at it as an individual issue, it delivered some intensely powerful character moments, did a seismic amount of world building, and it made me care about certain characters who have been featured heavily since the beginning of this maxi series as well as others I wouldn't have otherwise even known about. It helped make what is essentially an editorially mandated revision to continuity into something that feels personal. That is no mean feat.

However, as the penultimate installment of a 12-issue event series, it feels out of place. I honestly love less action packed "palate cleanser" issues that allow the reader to breath and take in what has happened and how the plot has changed our characters. However, they work better in an ongoing series, where they can split up different story arcs without taking away from a finite number of issues needed to tell one overarching narrative. Crisis already had one with issue #8 and I generally welcomed a break from the action. As much as I liked all the attention to character and this opportunity to take in what has happened, with only two issues left to go, I felt like this issue should have been building towards the final climactic confrontation instead of what effectively amounts to a superhero get-together and peer counselling session. The final threat of the Anti-Monitor kind of sneaks up on them, reminiscent of a toddler who is genuinely surprised every time a jack-in-the-box pops out. I like it on its own, but within the context of what it is, where it is positioned in the overall story, and what function it ought to be performing, it falls short of what the event needs.

Join me next week as I finally get to see the final Crisis. No not that Final Crisis. Ugh. Why did they list it that way on the "next time" tag? Next time, we're putting this series to rest with Crisis on Infinite Earths #12.

The Rita Repulsa Playbook

I think it's fair to say I wasn't exactly keen on the previous issue of DC's Crisis On Infinite Earths. It followed two very strong issues with an installment that was one half punchy kicky montage and another half being a collection of disparate plot threads. The overall whole was more successful as this event's greatest sin, cameo porn, than it was at telling a cohesive, focused chapter in a narrative. I wouldn't say it's the worst installment of the series thus far, but it was definitely a disappointment. However, it did something that Crisis has only done before: an honest to god(s) good, surprising cliffhanger ending. It's quite a change of pace from Wolfman & Perez's customary page-full of purple narration as characters stare solemnly at stuff. Join me as I see how well that cliffhanger pays off in Crisis on Infinite Earths #10.

I had to look at this cover twice. On first blush, it isn't all that impressive; two foes facing each other down in profile. It didn't seem like anything to write home about. Upon closer inspection however, I realized that all those figures that I thought were flying in the distant background are actually not. The Anti-Monitor and the Spectre are enormous. It creates the impression that the heroes and the villains of the DCU are fleas caught between a showdown of two titans. It helps turn a fairly standard "versus" cover with less than exciting body language and makes it feel more epic. Although, it looks like the DC heroes and villains were drawn in as an afterthought. They appear very much to be squeezed haphazardly. They mostly just appear to be floating around and the perspective even makes it appear like a couple of them are being stepped on.

Isn't this just a riveting start to a side-story?

Before I go into the issue proper, I ought to discuss "The Monitor Tapes." It's basically the length of maybe a 4-5 page backup story, but Wolfman and Perez opt to put one panel of the story on the bottom of each and every page of the comic. It's less of a story and more of a collection of anecdotes about how the Crisis has impacted characters that the creative team simply ran out of logical ways to incorporate into this sprawling narrative. Honestly, it would be interesting if it wasn't chopped up and wedged into the bottom of each page. As a result, it both breaks of the momentum of the story and the individual panels of "The Monitor Tapes" feel really disconnected in their own right, as well. I've seen this sort of thing done in other comics, and I've actually been okay with it. This isn't working for me because 1. these snippets don't end up tying into the present action of the issue (with one exception. kinda), and 2. it's a pretty transparent effort to jam puzzle pieces into places they don't fit because this series is contractually obligated to give everyone at least 1 cameo. I may recap it towards the end, but if something plot relevant is mentioned in them, I'll bring it up as we go.

Well, he got his gloating in while he could...

We start right where we left off last issue. Brainiac has just exploded, and Psimon is there gloating at having beaten Lex and Brainiac in his own game. Unfortunately, Psimon likes the sound of his own voice that he gloats for a little too long. From behind, a bolt of energy shoots Psimon in the cranium, shattering his glass-encase skull. His assailant was none other than... Brainiac?! But how...?! It turns out that Brainiac's ship is effectively Brainiac and it just made another body from spare parts. Wow. As a dramatist, that really takes away from the impact of last issue's cliffhanger. It's the equivalent of when your friend thinks he's dying, but it's just heartburn.

Meanwhile, the pink cloud that presumably is bad and reaching back through time has reached Anthro the First Boy. That same cloud seems to be on the now-toxic wasteland that is Earth-4, looking more like the face of planet Venus. Either that or it's a toxic radiation being emitted by Chemo as he looks out on the ocean he has poisoned. A black silhouetted figure is none too pleased with him and flies around him, wrapping him in the energy she flies with. We learn this figure trapping Chemo is Negative Woman of the Doom Patrol. Then Chemo explodes. I think? Down in the fathoms below, Aqualad is rushing the dying Aquagirl to... I don't know where. This isn't his native Earth, and apparently all of Earth-4's heroes (not even sure if Earth-4 had any aquatic heroes) migrated over to Earth-1 and Earth-2, so I don't know what help he expects to find. Over on on the mainland, in Earth-4 NYC analog, Kole of the Teen Titans turns Black Adam into crystal in order to save Dove (as in Hawk and Dove) and Not-Iron-Man Robotman.

Down in Lyla's notes, she introduces a retcon that in addition to the sole survivors of their respective realities, Pariah, Lady Quark, and Alexander Luthor, there is still one other: The Superboy of Earth-Prime. In the DC Multiverse, Earth-Prime is supposed to be the real world. As in here, where we live, where superheroes only appear in the funny books, where I sit here typing a blog post. So ignoring the fact that apparently, in the real world, Kryptonians exists, I gotta say the biggest concern I have about this revelation is that we're all fucked to hell and yet this kid (who will later become a nightmare on the blog) gets to live?

Sneaky way to slip him in under the radar. 

Dove: Great human being.
Stupid superhero.

With Black Adam stuck in crystal form, Robotman plans to smash him to bits, but Dove clearly embodies the "Good is Dumb" trope, but stopping him. My impression of Hawk and Dove is that they are two morally extreme personalities that would have gotten themselves killed if they didn't have each other to help form a functional brain between the two of them.

Over on Earth-S, where this world's super-villain contingent, including all the ice-themed villains, have combined forces to freeze over the entire planet and has the entire Marvel family bound and gagged in their civilian guises. I have to admit that in an era where most heroes were still doing the whole dual identity thing even among their fellow heroes, the fact that Captain Marvel's foes knew who each member of the Marvel clan was is impressive. Or woefully stupid, depending on whose perspective you're taking.

I know nothing about Platinum, but she seems like
she could cut a bitch. 

Phobia, who is one of many villians in this issue who feels inclined to work her name into conversation, keeps the Batson family further controlled by inflicting their greatest fears on them. Fortunately, Martian Manhunter density shifts into their ice fortress, declaring that he's tired of humans and their evil and their lust for power. Almost sounds like he's a little racist against humans. Sigh... Platinum of the Metal Men soon joins the fray and she looks eager to bust some heads. The Atom has been instructed to free Billy Batson, not understanding why. "Shazam!" Where did Billy Batson go? Captain Marvel? How long have you been here.

Over on Earth-X, aka Plant Apocalypse Land, Batman is leading his contingent and wiping the floor against the Penguin, Captain Cold, and assorted B-Listers with relative ease. Lex and Brainiac are less than pleased.

Finally, the fighting ends when The Spectre appears in the heavens across all five Earths, insisting that they stop because their true foe the Anti-Monitor still lives and it is only through their combined forces, as the Monitor had implemented them that they can hope to stop him. I don't know much about the Spectre. I know he's other worldly and is a bit of a spirit of retribution and something of a combat-capable Uatu the Watcher. A Battle Watcher, if you may. Truth be told, he appeared on the very final page of issue #8, but it felt so tacked on and took away from the emotional weight of Barry's death, so I didn't mention it. Was that passive aggressive of me? Maybe. Would it have resulted in better storytelling? Ye gods, yes.

"This is why we can't have nice things!!"

Since our heroes and villains clearly would have no way of figuring out the Anti-Monitor's latest scheme, it's up to the Spectre to spell it out. Those pink skies we've been seeing appearing progressively further back in time since last issue? Yeah, that's the Anti-Monitor making his way back to before the very dawn of time, before the great Oan oopsy-daisy caused the multiverse. From there, he'll change history, so that there will have never been anything but the Evil Anti-Matter Universe.

This portentous warning seems to be what it takes to stop the superhero/supervillain pissing contest. It's like when you're a kid  in the car on a long trip to Disney World, fighting with your sibling(s) in the back seat and your dad threatens to "shut the fuck up and behave yourselves or I'll turn this company-wide crossover event around and go home."

It does seem to be what it takes to get everyone on board. We see Brainiac and Luthor caucusing, agreeing to cooperate for the time being. I find it dubious that they have full command over the United Villain's Front in matters that aren't villainy, but three panels with them is more time efficient than two pages of cameos from 30 villains.

A well-deserved touching moment.

We move to Death Valley of Earth-1, where a two-front counter-offensive against the Anti-Monitor is being staged. Before we engage with that, however, we have a moment with Earth-2's Superman and Lois Lane-Kent. It's a tender, loving moment between the two of them. Considering we now know that Kryptonians are vulnerable to Anti-Matter, or at least in the Evil Anti-Matter Universe, every time he joins the fray, it must feel like he's going on a suicide mission. However, considering Earth-2 Superman is supposed to be the Superman readers first met way back in the day in Action Comics #1, and the version that has been allowed to (sort of) realistically age to the point where they appear as old and familiar as the DCU readers know, there is something special about this moment. As Superman assuages Lois of her fears, Lois says possibly the most defining thing that can be said about them as a set of characters. "You're the world's most relentless boy scout. And I know my problem, too. I wouldn't have it any other way."

A mildly creeper moment.

Unnoticed, Alexander Luthor, now back in his gold suit, watches this exchange at a distance.

With everything in readiness, we have our obligatory page of cameo porn. My favorite of course being Fearsome Five siblings, Shimmer and Mammoth commenting on how they don't like the new Dr. Light, whom we've established on multiple occasions as the best character in DC. I know it's probably because they don't like that she's appropriated the costumed identity of their ex teammate... whom they really didn't like either. I wish this had gone on just another panel longer so that Kimiyo could turn around, give them the stink eye, then turn back to whatever she was doing. However, as it stands, I do appreciate that she's depicted as close enough to hear them and clearly not giving a fuck.

Jay Garrick and Wally West are being fitted with big metal belts that act as power converters. I'm starting to notice a trend of DC's speedsters basically being as utilities. It makes me think that DC's speedsters could easily solve the energy crisis by running on treadmills for an hour in order to charge up electrical grids a few times a week.

They're all ready to get on with the show when we have a last minute addition to our bloated cast of characters in the form of Superboy Prime. Remember that character I mentioned was randomly included in Lyla's notes less than half an issue ago? Well, now he's here. Little did readers know that this would lead to Infinite Crisis...

Superboy-Prime has arrived. So much for cleaning up continuity

We have a panel where Captain Marvel observes Lady Quark and knows she's focused on her anger about her world's destruction and how she blames Pariah. Because that's where her interiority begins and ends, albeit understandably. I'd much have preferred her thoughts in this instance than Captain Marvel's, but it's interesting to note that she is so hyper-focused on Pariah's indirectly dooming her world that all her new peers can read her like a book.

"Good lord. She's at it again."

Uncle Sam is given the task of giving a St. Crispin's Day speech. Because America(?).

And so the plan is underway. The plan that the Spectre set in motion when he told the entire populace of five different Earth's to get their shit together and put on their big boy pants is that one team needs to travel back to the dawn of time to confront the Anti-Monitor. A second team must travel back in time to prevent the Oans from causing the problem in the first place. It occurs to me that if they had focused on stopping the Oans from causing the multiverse, the Anti-Monitor would never have existed and thus never need to be confronted at the dawn of time, but trying to suss out causal logic in a time travel narrative is like forgetting your safety word. It only results in more pain than you really want.

We have two time machines set up. Apparently, these have been out of commission, so they are Macguyvering it. Copper of the Metal men is acting as a conductor while all the assembled electric and magnetic powered characters charge him up. I'm guessing either the Speed Force is an essential ingredient in DC time travel or DC time machines need kinetic energy because Jay and Wally just start running circles around the site.

Superman-1 for some reason can time travel without the aid of a time machine (maybe that's what Jay and Wally are there for) and is taking Alexander Luthor along for the the ride. The two need to get there before everyone else so that Li'l Luthor can open up the way to the Evil Anti-Matter Universe... despite the fact that he hasn't been in possession of his anti-matter powers since his last "Cosmic Moses opening the Red Sea" moment. At this point in the event, the writers are praying your brain is on auto-pilot.

As the two contingents disappear into the timestream, Brainiac is alone in his spaceship, ruminating upon the numerical odds of his survival. It's kind of chilling to realize that the success of the mission has 0.000362% chances of success, he has a 0,00436% chance of survival, but his consciousness has a 0.043% change of survival electronically. I know it's splitting some incredibly thin hairs, but the fact that the entirety of existence might be snuffed out, a very singlemindedly malevolent presence might survive us all.

That middle panel, tho...

Far down below the depths of the oceans, Aqualad beseeches Queen Mera and Lori the mermaid, praying for an update on Tula's status, even though he already knows she's dead. He's grasping at straws, desperate for some way of saving her. It's a textbook example of the bargaining stage of grief. Chagrined, Lori tells him what he's asking is impossible. Despite all the many variously gifted heroes that populate their world, matters of life and death are insuperable. It is a genuinely hard to read moment from characters for whom I honestly have no frame of reference. Well done, Wolfman and Perez.

"Magic Wand! Make my monster
GROW!!!"

Meanwhile in the cosmic void that is the dawn of time, Team Anti-Anti-Monitor confront a skyscraper-sized Anti-Monitor. He has Pariah encased in a field of energy, which he presumably has been trapped in since he vanished from the UN Building last issue. Pariah attempts to ward away his allies. It turns out that Anti-Monitor had long been expecting them and this was all a part of his plan. I'm honestly wondering where this is going because for a while now, it seems like he's been throwing handfuls of spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. Really, the more I see of him, the more I think he's just a lousy antagonist. I don't think I'd notice it so much if he were a recurring villain who comes back every third story arc, but he is the villain. In the previous nine issues, either his plans have been circumvented or he has been physically rebuffed no fewer than five times. It takes the impact out of your villain if he does nothing but make braggart declarations about how mightily evil and powerful he is and how each thing he does was really his master plan all along, only see him thwarted every other issue. That's bordering on Rita and Zed territory.

See, Lady Quark? It was all a big misunderstanding.

In accordance with the official supervillain handbook, Anti-Monitor monologues, detailing how Pariah's actions didn't trigger his reign of terror, just opened an opportunity that he pounced upon after lying in wait. Both Pariah and Lady Quark get a sense of closure from knowing that this hasn't all been Pariah's fault.

As Anti-Monitor declares (yet again) that he will destroy them all, Earth-1 Superman gives the command for them to attack, The energy projectors start blasting him while all the super-strong characters start smacking his hard candy shell. Over on the sidelines, all the badass normals and non combat-powered characters are being a bunch of looky-loos. Robin asks what they can do to help and Batman says "We can give them hope." Oh. Hope. Thanks, Bats. I would have at least tried the Care Bear Cousins Call, but let's go with hope.

Batman has read The Secret and knows the value of positive thinking.

Meanwhile, all of the villains have been deployed to Oa, where they attempt to stop the scientist Krona's experiment before he breaks the universe and thus creates the multiverse. Oan lives are expendable, so clearly despite cooperating, they're not exactly playing nice. Ancient Oans, however, are telepaths and Team Stop The Oans are quickly outclassed by a psychic whammy. The few that make it through the psi-assault burst through the wall of Krona's lab like the Kool-Aid Man. It's all for naught, though as a well-placed explosion lays them low.

I wonder if their psi abilities are the true origin of the
GLC's power source?

Back in dawn of time, all the characters shooting energy at the Anti-Monitor has served to only make him more powerful. Oops. Well, since that strategy isn't working, let's try something else. The Spectre levels up, growing to the same gargantuan size as Anti-Monitor. In order to support this form, he taps into all the mystically empowered characters to act as a power supply, linking arms as they channel their energies into him.

The Spectre drank all his milk, ate all his veggies, and a bowl of Wheaties...

And it is only at this point that I realize what I am reading is effectively a precursor to a Power Rangers Megazord battle. Maybe I was onto something with comparing Anti-Monitor to Rita and Zed. He spends much of the first half of the series watching the heroes fight his shadow warriors like an army of Putties from the security of a view screen, both Supergirl and the Flash significantly ruin his "Plan A" stratagems. The only thing left for him to do is grow to enormous strength only to be defeated by an equally large manifestation of the team's gestalt efforts.

"By your powers combined, I am... still the Spectre."

It really looks like the heroes have a fighting chance when a window of purple energy appears in the sky. It is Krona of the Oans, his experiment underway. This is what Anti-Monitor has been waiting for. Spectre thinks there is still a chance he just needs more power but as he says this, the world begins to crack and shatter into shards as the issue draws to an end. The narration makes it explicit that this is the end of all that was.

Who was the wiseass who hid the final page of the issue
behind all this crap?

It's not the first time the series has trolled us with this sort of ominous cliffhanger ending and we still have two issues to go, so I won't exactly cry into my diary over this now. It's a page I had to look at a few time because it is so filled with Kirby dots and cosmic energies, that it took me a few passes to figure out what was happening, let alone who was talking. Like I said, last issue's ending while not being cosmically epic the way most of these issues ends worked better because it was clear what was happening and who was in danger. This issue's final page falls back to the series' trend of coupling cosmic, somewhat abstract visuals and foreboding purple narration. Crisis has played this sort of ending within an inch of its life and loses its impact the more Wolfman and Perez return to that well. By the conclusion of this series, I don't want to be mentally on autopilot the way these issue endings mostly have been.

As a whole, I really oughtn't complain too much about this issue. Sure, the first third is dedicated to finishing up the "Villains Assemble" arc, which in and of itself was pointless filler. But even so, this issue has has a lot of forward momentum and knows when it needs a few minutes to breathe. It gets the book back on track both in terms of the overall thrust of the series itself as well as getting back to the more focused attention to its characters that we we saw toward the middle of the series. Although, it doesn't reach what it was. Too much of the creative team's attention is devoted to getting everyone in the DCU back on the same page to have time to really zero in on a couple focal characters. But that's an acceptable cost for getting this story back on track. Reassembling the collected heroes and villains into a unified corps for a common goal doesn't quite have the grandeur and excitement it had the first time they were all assembled, but I think that's for the best since we are spending far less time with inessential interactions.

I didn't talk a lot about "The Monitor Tapes." I was initially planning to just insert a quick blurb about each panel of it we see at the tail end of each paragraph, but other than being nonsequitur and distracting, it also would have divided scene recaps in half. For the most part, though, they are interesting if you like getting some insight into the greater cosmology of the DCU, but ultimately, I don't think it's necessary. I don't think it needed to be spliced up and inserted into each page of the issue (if you're reading on the Comixology app, panel-by-panel, it really upsets the flow of the reading experience), nor do I think it even warranted being presented at the back of the issue because it isn't a story in its own right. It's literally just a series of wide panels in grayscale accompanied with texts from Lyla's notes. It's an illustrated debrief. My guess is either the creative team had more story in mind than they could fit or more scene tableaux ready than they could fit in the story organically and by god(s), they were going to fit it in, come hell or high water. It's an oddity. Interesting? Certainly. Integral to the narrative? Nope.

Next week, we're switching back to Marvel and see how things go for the Avengers Unity Squad in their efforts against The Shredded Man now that we've thrown a Cable into the pot in Uncanny Avengers (vol 3) #3.