Wednesday, June 8, 2016

The Evil League of Evil

After the past two issues, I had almost grown complacent, hoping that Marv Wolfman and George Perez had reached a new plateau in their storytelling. Alas, though, this latest issue shows us that we may have perhaps been on a brief reprieve. Or was it? I think this issue manages to relapse into being all over the place, but it still manages to maintain a focus in a manner that really shifts the reader's vantage point in a way that hasn't been explored in the series up until now. While, this issue reverts to form by being all over the place in terms of action, locations, etc., one could argue that in terms of narrative and perspective, this is perhaps the most focused issue yet.

The cover of issue #9 of Crisis on Infinite Earths is basically a team shot, villains edition. They're in a big stampede, with Brainiac's skull ship dominating the background and Lex Luthor leading the charge in the foreground. I don't have all that much to say about it because... well, half these guys are either really unfamiliar to me or I simply don't recognize them in their current designs. And there are a lot of villains. Maybe too many. I get that the creative team wanted to convey just how much of an impressive team of baddies that has been mustered, but it looks like the attempt to squeeze in as many as possible made it look a little messy.

We open up on Oa, home of the Guardians of the Universe, aka the little blue space jerks that are best known for quibbling over parliamentary procedure and being the Green Lantern Corps' bosses. It's here that we also meet for the first time in this event the literally red-headed stepchild of the Green Lantern characters, Guy Gardner. Going into this series, I have something of a frame of reference for him. The first trade paperback I ever read was The Death of Superman, where he was a member in the included issues of Justice League America. Additionally, Geoff Johns included him in some of the GL stories of his I've read, including Green Lantern Rebirth. Most importantly, this:
In-universe, Guy is the Green Lantern everyone can agree on... not liking. He is to Hal Jordan and John Stewart what US Agent is compared to Captain America. Both are still heroic characters, but filtered through the zeitgeist of the Reagan era which accentuated some more negative traits that goes with it. Such as jingoism, American exceptionalism and toxic masculinity. But where the contrast between Captain America and US Agent created an interesting discourse on what it means to be a hero representating of a nation's idealism, Guy compared to the other GL's more or less comes off as a bit of a jerkass and a cocky hothead. Although, I have a thing for jerkass heroes, as they tend to get a lot of the best lines (see also: Damian Wayne, Emma Frost, Namor).

Guy Gardner: Most Stylish GL.
It seems the Guardians, having previously offered Guy a position with the Corps are doing so again specifically to help deal with the events of Crisis. Guy declares that he always wanted the ring and confidently declares that no evil will escape his sight, as is the wont of any self-respecting corps member. It makes me wonder what has happened to John Stewart to necessitate giving Guy a ring (John's ring?) Sometimes it's easy to forget since I'm reading this series on its own 30 years out from its publication that it was still running concurrently to DC's regular ongoing titles.

So much for new hire orientation...
It's interesting to note that while John was basically wearing the same suit that Hal wore, Guy has a bit more flare. He's wearing a black-gray unitard with a thick turtleneck collar, chunky boots, gloves, and belt all three of which are accented by what look like either buckles or pouches (excessive buckles and pouches are to the late 80s/90s what needless piping is to today's design issues), and the bringing the look together is an emerald green sleeveless double-breasted bomber jacket with a GL emblem in the center. I won't lie, I like the jacket, but the other touches seem a little pointless. The suit is just a construct of the GL ring. Why are there so many buckles in a suit that doesn't actually require closures? The form isn't following the function when a function is non-existent. Also, a turtleneck? Seriously? Did he just happen to leave directly from a coffee house poetry reading? But this is fine. Silly, but fine. We are definitely moving closer to the ridiculous redesigns we'll see in the 90's but we aren't quite at ninjas wearing cyber battle armor quite yet..

How do we know Ganthet
didn't arrange their deaths
to do away with
pointless bureaucracy?
Guy's hasn't been inducted for a whole minute when a blast of energy coming from the darkness beyond Oa hits the planet with pinpoint accuracy, turning GL headquarters to rubble and dust. Guy, having survived his first full minute in the corps, is shocked to find that the Guardians are dead, having believed them immortal. One managed to survive, he goes unnamed, but due to his prominence in GL lore, I'd say he's probably Ganthet. He basically says, and I'm paraphrasing, "yes we're immortal, so any force that can kill all but one of us is a nigh-insurmountable force to be reckoned with. Enjoy your first (suicide) mission.

It's a redux of the cover.
I'd argue that the issue gets a little sloppy whenever this issue turns to the united league of villains, and you can pretty much take it as read at this point that the creative team is plowing through important plot points in order to position the greater DCU into where it needs to be for the sake of the event. However, because of this, it's also where the issue gets a little madcap, which is always fun. We find ourselves inside Brainiac's bigheadship, where T.O. Morrow is the last person to arrive at the party, having been teleported from the Watchtower and the entire guest list consists of villains. All the villains. All of them.

Running the background of the major events of the previous three issues, we've been seeing all these less-than-morally upright characters vanish into thin air, but the demands of a world ending crisis event has kept the heroes from pursuing or sometimes even noticing the disappearances. Finally, we get to see the fruits of this slow-burn of a plot point. They have all been assembled by Brainiac and Lex Luthor with the sole goal of, what else, taking over the world! All five of them!

On a sidenote, it's quite honestly equal parts baffling and amusing to see a version of Lex whose business cards clearly lead with "supervillain/mad scientist" in big bold letters and wears green and purple power armor complete with an ornate Egptian-style skirt. I think his post-Crisis reinvention by John Byrne crystalized him as a savvy legitimate corporate businessman (and later politician) who pull the strings at a distance and never gets his hands dirty. Pre-crisis Lex might as well be disco dancing in a rhinestone studded leisure suit for how charmingly retro he feels.
Alexie Luthor is about to get ejected from...
... The No Homers Club
When the Lex of Earth-2, who still has his hair but none of his sartorial flair questions who put Earth-1 Lex in charge, claiming he could out-science him and they don't need him, Brainiac concludes that he makes a logical argument that they don't need two Lex Luthors. It does not end well for red head Lex. On the one hand, it's an effective way to get everyone on-board, but on the other hand, destroying members of your talent pool just to make an example of him is just going to end up causing friction that will end up biting them in the ass. The last remaining Lex begins to dish out the plan as we cut to a different space-faring vessel...

A Tamaranian space Captain Karras and first mate/yeoman/possible sexual partner, Taryia are prepping for Koriand'r, aka Starfire, and two of her teammates from the Teen Titans to be beamed aboard. From what I can tell, from reading the first 9 or 10 issues of New Teen Titans, Tamaranians are the Deltans from Star Trek The Motion Picture spliced with Flash Gordon design aesthetics and given a fire/solar power gimmick. What that basically means is that they are sensual, relatively lack boundary issues, wear wacky space opera apparel, and can shoot energy beams... or at least Starfire can because she was experimented on.

Oh, right, that's probably important. Starfire was the princess of her people but was basically sold into slavery to spare her people from the terrors of a superior conquering force, who proceeded to make a test subject out of her, and I think heavily implied to have used her for sex, so I can't see a reunion with her people, who allowed those kind of violations as yielding a lot of fond memories. The captain and his buxom lieutenant hint at some very important responsibility that Kory will have when they arrive at their homeworld, but just leave that hanging for the time being.

Yeah, I looked these two up--
they're totally doing it off-panel.
In short order, Starfire, along with her teammates, Nightwing and Jericho. It's funny that the Tamaranians are very much cosplaying Flash Gordon but playing with Star Trek toys because that teleporter effect? Yeah, that borders on copyright infringement, complete with the rounded appearance of a Starfleet teleporter pad and kirby dots taking the place of the crystaline effect of Trek's transporters. I bet the longer you hang with the Tamaranians, the more you'll come to realize that they really are just a jumble of homages to other space-faring sci-fi properties.

It would be shameful of me not to point out that Nightwing is in his infamous first costume after changing superhero personas, which despite first appearing in the mid-80's is spectacularly disco. Not many men can pull off a deep V-neck AND the arch cowl from a Bela Lugosi Dracula cape, but Dick Grayson found a way. Although, with an ass like his, you can get away with a lot worse. I'm not quite as familiar with Jericho, but basically, he's the son of the probably New Teen Titan's most famous antagonist/uneasy ally/frenemy, Deathstroke the Terminator. He's mute (I think his throat was slashed during his childhood, which was probably pretty rough based on his pedigree), has possession and/or astral projection powers, can really pull of a killer mutton chops/jewfro combo, and dresses like he LARPs as a cleric. Oh, and I'm fairly certain his character met with both figurative and literal character assassination in the 90s because the 90s are why we can't have nice things.

Maybe it's not that she's open,
but that Dick was raised by Bruce Wayne.
Kory seems quite thrilled to be going home to the planet and family that sold her into human bondage with implied sexual implications and happily introduces Nightwing to the captain, whom I am guessing she just met, as her lover. Dick is taken aback, having forgotten how open and expressive Tamaranians are about intimate matters. It's adorably awkward. Also, I suppose it makes sense that he'd forget about that fact, since no doubt Kory has adapted to how she interacts with humans in the five years since she debuted, but can easily slip back into her instinctive manner of behavior when among her own people.

In hushed tones, but still heard by Jericho (does muteness give you superhearing a la Daredevil?) Taryia tells Arras that Kory must know, if she plans on taking her lover along. Because taking her platonic friend along apparently doesn't mandate transparency. Poor Jericho. The third wheel isn't even worth acknowledging, let alone factoring into making considerations.

Meanwhile, back on terra firma, Cyborg and Firehawk, fresh off the exploding Red Tornado debacle, are flying/leaping across Manhattan until the finally meet up with the rest of the Teen Titans, Wonder Girl, Kole, Changeling on a rooftop. Their conversation as they make their approach belies the fact that the provisional stability the five Earths have are not without their problems, as part of NYC seems to be in more flux than usual. There is a part of the city being referred to as the "Warp Zone," as 1984 was a hot minute before Nintendo permanently added the term to our collective subconscious.

Will there also be maps to the dinosaurs' homes?

On Earth-1, however, the Warp Zone is a place where the timey wimey stuff from earlier in the event is still happening. Dinosaurs and Zeppelins roam the land in this area where time is in flux, as we are informed amusingly in a page full of DC's science luminaries being interviewed with questions by DC's reporters. Surprisingly enough, the two most interesting interactions are from an evil pr reporter a good guy, whom we haven't seen the last of this issue. They both ask questions that in one way or another shows that maybe their head isn't in a place of well-balanced journalism. Jack Ryder's asking how a time anomaly will effect the crime element is a bit baffling, but Bethany Snow asks a a roboticist about the anomaly, a field that is outside his purview, and then getting smug about his inability to field her question. Yeah, that's one way to gain the trust of the viewing public. Guess which one is the bad guy.
Journalism at its finest.

In the grand scheme of this event, that's probably small potatoes, but since the New Teen Titans collectively are the protagonist on this issues B plot (note how little time I've thus far devoted to the main plot), we are concerned by Wonder Girl's husband being somewhere in the newly minted Anachronism District.
Consider your choices, 'Hawk...

Firehawk convinces Wonder Girl to let her keep her company in the search for her husband, Terry. Gar hits on Firehawk as they fly off. The two bond over the fact that Changeling and Firestorm are girl crazy. Even though Firehawk admits that on Firestorm, it works for her. Different strokes, as they say... Although, I really wish the caption as they fly off didn't tell the reader to follow their story in the next issue of Firestorm, I wish they'd accidentally ended up going to Earth-7642 (the DC/Marvel crossover Earth) and made friends with the Danielle Moonstar of this era, because Sunspot was similarly awful/wonderful in his youth. Although, bare in mind Changeling and Sunspot are still young enough in this era that you can chock it up to immaturity. Firestorm is a college student in this era. And a college student in 1984-- an actual adult. Ergo, I maintain that Firestorm is the worst.

Meanwhile, Clark Kent is reporting the news... and it's only now that I realize just how weird it is that Clark and Lois are tv reporters instead of print journalists in this era. I understand DC's efforts to keep their characters relevant to the times. It actually made a lot of sense, for instance, when the Clark of the New 52 was writing for an online news outlet. But seeing Clark behind a news desk is just a little unexpected. The whole thing about Clark, at least when he's in Metropolis, or Gotham, or pretty much anywhere besides Smallville, is that he goes out of his way to effect an unassuming demeanor. In fact he'd probably want to keep out of the direct spotlight, lest his face as a news caster and his face as the prominently featured news story both appear often enough that viewers start putting two and two together.
Probably neighbors with that Charlie Brown kid.

Now that I've tangented, time to start another tangent. Clark is finishing up a broadcast, telling viewers that Alexander Luthor will be meeting with the UN that afternoon. Meanwhile, his co-workers discuss how cold his delivery is and how he's been like this since Supergirl's death. Then, perplexingly, we cut to a panel of what looks like someone from whatever reality the Family Circus characters live in watching the end of Clark's broadcast. There is seriously nothing about this little boy's appearance or the pictures on his desk that suggest that he exists in the same shared multiverse. I'm not joking when I say he looks like a Sunday newspaper humor strip. I did some digging and found out that, no, this character is neither a pre-crisis DC character or one who will be folded into Post-Crisis DC. However, he was created by DC back in the days before the concept of shared universes was even a glimmer in Lee and Kirby's minds. His name is Bernie the Brain, a featured character in the book Sugar and Spike (the titular characters appear in the framed photographs, in exactly the position they'd appear above the title of their book. They were characters created by Sheldon Mayer, one of the earliest creators and editors of All-American Comics, which later became the company we now know as DC Comics.

The book briefly reaches into the past of Earth-1, where we catch back up with the characters from Haunted Tank and Our World At War in time for them the witness of wave of fushia energy. It's gone before they have the time to figure out what is going on. But the reader gets to see just a taste of what to come, as the same wave seems to be traveling further into the past. And the narration hints that it is a past that is ready to be changed. I'm not sure if this is phase umpteen of Anti-Monitor's evil plot or the actual fabric of DC's multiverse trying to knit itself back together into a cohesive hole, but either way it's sufficiently ominous.

Now, before we go further, I feel it's important to state that this point is the dime upon which this issue is going to radically turn. It is suddenly going to have a lot of momentum propelling it forward with a lot of smaller but interesting sub-plots to... just silliness. But I am worried I'll have less to say because the book becomes both cameo porn and very punchy punchy. I'm always going to be more about character building and plot progression than action. Sorry. There's less meat on the bone, but there is still some interesting stuff and I'll try to be fair to it.

As if we haven't already seen a horde of villians earlier...
For the first time in a few issues, we turn our attention to the three last minute sidequests Earths. Not only have we given them much thought, it turns out the hero community at-large hasn't either. After the mission into the Evil Anti-Matter Universe, it seems like all of The heroes from Earth-4, Earth-X, and Earth-S migrated to Earth-1, leaving their own worlds defenseless. As the old saying goes, "with great power comes... Eh fuck it, let's go hang out at the cool kids' house." And finally, we return to this issue's selling point. VILLAINS ATTACK!!!

And honestly, it's the part of the issue that I probably have the least to talk about, which is really disappointing, considering how long this subplot has gradually been coming together and how much the cover attempts to sell it. For now, all our baddies are only seen in shadow as we watch civilians being rounded up and a couple panels of the few remaining heroes of the 3 sidequest Earths possibly knocked out, but more likely totally deadskies. I am utterly incapable of ID'ing either of the fallen heroes, but I'm guessing as we get closer to the end of this maxi series, they are merely the first trickle in a flood of C-Lister deaths.

Meanwhile, in the UN, Pariah fails at adhering to dress codes. While addressing a cross-dimensional session of the UN, Pariah is still dressed like he's cosplaying as a sorcerer's apprentice, meanwhile Alexander Luthor is I a three-piece suit and Lyla is in a puffy fushia blouse with her hair in a bun. Did Pariah, just not get the memo about attire or is he stuck in what he was wearing when he broke the multiverse for the rest of his existence? 

The three of them a calmly, evenly attempting to keep the leaders of 5 worlds apprised of the current status quo of the story and it's honestly refreshing to see Pariah demonstrating a relaxed demeanor. But that can't last, can it?

While they are having this conference, Wonder Woman, in her Diana Prince persona, and Lady Quark, wearing a trench coat over the costume she was wearing when she arrived, are watching the proceedings on a display in the window of an electronics store. I can only assume that the reason the sole survivor of her dimension and an actual ambassador aren't in the UN assembly hall is because it would have been gauche for them to hold a private conversation in person.

A grudge for the ages... until the event resets continuity.
This is the second time on the same page that we have a character who has been trapped on Earth-1 for weeks, if not a couple months, and yet is still wearing the attire she arrived in. Unlike with Pariah, I can see no reason why she can't change her clothes, which makes me think it's either a) it's a containment suit for her powers, b) the denizens of Earth-6 are allergic to Earth-1's textiles, or c) it's the only thing she has left of the world she knew and can't bare to take it off.

The two discuss Lady Quark's vengeful feelings toward Pariah, for his indirectly causing the destruction of her world when he awoke the Anti-Monitor. Diana argues that she can't hold it against him forever, as it was an accident. Lady Quark concedes that someday she may forgive, but will never forget. I'd really be interested to follow her through her appearances post-Crisis because she is filled with justifiable anger, and yet is conflicted, and suffering an incredible loss.

Considering from what I understand, the Post-Crisis DCU exists as though it had always been that way, I wonder how the incorporate her backstory. Though, to be fair, as far as my research could turn up, she Lord Volt, Princess Fern, and the denizens of Earth-6 were created specifically for Crisis, so at least fans at the time hadn't had time to really emotionally commit to those characters. Wow. her whole planet existed just to die. Imagine a whole planet of Uncle Bens and Thomas & Martha Waynes just walking around, giving speeches about great responsibility and wearing pearls just in case their tragic deaths should come at any moment.
Good ol' Pariah...

Back at the UN, the questions delivered to the Crisis trio start to get a bit more pointed. Coincidentally, Pariah returns to form, has a bit of a freak out, and vanishes, declaring that the danger has not ended. I can't help but notice this just happens to occur when he's posed with questions about international/dimensional diplomacy that he can't answer and that shine a huge freaking spotlight at his terrible accountability track record.

Not to worry, though. Pariah's presence is soon after replaced with the gigantic floating head of Brainiac holographically being projected into the UN assembly hall. I'm sorry, but this is a just hilariously perfect instance of text book supervillainy.  I look at this scene and I can't help but think of the giant statue head of Thetis (Maggie Smith) in Clash of the Titans (the real one from 1981), crashing to the floor of the temple and declaring her demands for a virgin sacrifice. He gets the leader of Earth-1 caught up on what we already know-- that Earths-4, X, and S have been conquered by the Villainous People's Front. Or the People's Front of Villainy. Or possibly the Villainous Popular People's Front.


Brainiac leaves it to Lex Luthor to explain their demands. Luthor materializes (or is projected into) in the chamber, causing Alexander to be surprised that Lex Luthor looks so much like his father. Nine issues in and Alexander needs the concept of alternate realities explained to him. Hoo boy. Lex says that since five is a much better number than three, he demands that Earths-1 and 2 surrender to them or they will destroy the Earths that they do have. And I cannot help but think this is such an unadorned bluff. If Earths-1 and 2 refuse, and they make good on their threats, they'll have no Earths under their control.  Ye gods, this is so transparently dumb silver age logic. Of course, the five Earths being linked, them destroying the Earths they have will destroy all of them. Again, another flaw in the plan-- if all the Earths are destroyed-- where are you guys going to keep all your stuff? This is an incredibly dumb plan of last resort that the villains are treating like a master stroke. Lex, the supposed genius gives them fifteen minutes to come to a conclusion. Fifteen minutes for the united governments of two different Earths to make up their minds about the fate of the multiverse, whereas today, it apparently takes the US government of only one Earth weeks and weeks just to come to a consensus of who can use which bathroom. Let's hope 1984 wasn't an election year in the DCU.
This sort of victim blaming sounds like it would actually fly in today's culture.
Having heard this, Clark Kent finds somewhere private and busts open his shirt for the classic S shield reveal, then flies off declaring "this is a job for Superman!" I think this might be one of the last times that expression can be used without being twinged with irony because I feel like the DCU that we find after Crisis, is far more emotionally grounded. It's funny to note that he has on a Legion ring. Was this his from when he was Superboy (yeah, pre-Crisis, Superboy was just younger Superman and not a discrete character unto himself) or is he wearing Supergirl's as a remembrance?

The Creeper. Yeah, I don't get it, either...
Next, we cut to one of the reporters we saw earlier, Jack Ryder, transforms into honestly the oddest DC Hero I've come across in a while: The looks like the love child of the Joker and Kraven the Hunter. Based on what I learned from my reliable source, Dr. Internet, I get the impression that Creeper is a character that has been around for ages and writers will periodically keep trying to make him work, but he never seems to stick around for long.

Meanwhile, in 1917, an aviator notices that pink field in the sky from earlier. Just in case you were forgetting that particular plot point...

Back in the present, the heroes of Earths-1 and 2 attempt to break through a barrier that the villains have put up around Earth-4 while Alexander Luthor continues to argue with a UN delegate.
Wally's private time.

Then we cut to the idyllic little hamlet of Blue Valley, where Wally West, currently Kid Flash, hereafter known as Best Flash, is laying in bed in his boxer shorts reading a letter and eating an apple, where he is recruited by Jay Garrick, and Lyla. Because nobody believes in knocking the door. Being a teenage boy in his undies, Jay and Lyla should be relieved that he has an apple in his hand and not something else.
Lyla and Jay don't even knock.

And-- oh, my stars and garters. This is the first time we're seeing Lyla's complete new ensemble and I just want to know who she's taking to prom. I'm fairly certain I've seen this get-up during a screening of Teen Witch (kids, ask your parents about that seminal 80s classic). Lyla mentions that the Monitor's notes said Wally had a problem and a certain knowledge that they need. Jay Garrick says with Barry Allen being MIA, Wally's on deck and offers Wally his old ring. Do the Titans use rings too or is this his Flash-brand costume ring?
Jay proposes to Wally and a thousand shippers cry out in unison...

Wally is game, and one transition later, he and Jay are prepping a cosmic treadmill (just... just go with it), which will let an assembled army of heroes cross to the captured Earths. A page worth of cameo padding later, the two speedsters put their pedals to the metal and open up a rift which takes forever because this book is dedicated to the noble art of watching characters watching other characters doing shit.

From here on, the comic, is just a protracted fight scene and some more C-List fodder the most notable I can recall is Tula, aka Aquagirl. Earth-4 seems to have the most generic subjugation, although Chemo has poisoned the oceans. Earth-S has been turned into a frozen wasteland. Over on Earth-X, Poison Ivy (who either looks bland in general or bland when not a redhead) has initiated a floral apocalypse.
Oh, no. Not.. whatshername...?!

Firestorm's gonna get it.
Of course the villains get various moments to shine. the Joker taunts the Freedom Fighters now trapped in Ivy's vines, and the fact that Uncle Sam starts of his retort with the word "sonny," really just cements how dedicatedly folksy/charming he is. Meanwhile, on Hoth Earth-S, Killer Frost tells her other weather and ice-themed brethren that they cannot underestimate the forces that the heroes can marshal. And believe you me, I am waiting for Firestorm to get his comeuppance after going along with Frostie's mind rape and manipulation... and being a creep about it, too.

What is more interesting than the fighting itself is the narration, which is actually a conversation between Brainiac and Luthor, who are such chessmasters in this issue. All the other villains they've assembled are expendable pawns. Not just expendable, they expressly intend for both the rest of the villains and the heroes to either kill one another or burn each other out, making them easier to subjugate when Brainiac and Luthor will swoop in and win the day for themselves alone. Better the heroes take out some of the more deadly of their allies than have to do it themselves. Ye gods, the secret evil plan, is so much cleverer than the publicly announced plan.


Did you try shutting it down and
turning it back on?
Luthor notices that he's been monologuing for a while and he turns to Brainiac to see why he's so quiet. The machine man is very still but then starts sputtering red hot energy and kirby dots and explodes. In the wake of the explosion, Luthor is knocked to the floor. He looks around to find the big, glass-domed head of Psimon gloating over his cleverness and suspicious nature. And looking particularly  declaring that "Psimon says Luthor must die as well!" Yeah, considering my first toe in the DC waters after over a decade of being a Marvel purist was the Young Justice cartoon series, I really appreciate Psimon getting really creepy and calculating villain moments. Apart from the body horror that is the upper half of his skull, there is something horrifying about the whites of his eyes being blackened and his pupils glowing while as he stares down arguably the kingpin of DC's pantheon of villains after having just blown Luthor's only recognized equal to smithereens. Surprisingly enough, I think this is only the second time the issue hasn't ended with a big reveal splash page. Although, whereas with the final page of Supergirl's funeral, I kind of feel the team wanted to capture every moment of Superman laying his cousin to rest, in this moment, I just feel like they were rushed, less emotionally invested in this leg of the narrative, and honestly just wanted to get it over with.

Psimon:
B for villainy, A+ for villain speechifying.
It is a flashbang, both literally and figuratively for the issue's A-plot, but overall, the villains' story in this issue is not worth the slow burn of a build up it has received over the previous few issues. I imagine for someone who was reading at the time, seeing all the villians of the era was satisfying, but so many of the villains either aren't prominent enough for me to be all that familiar, did not make it it into the Post-Crisis DCU, or do not resemble the iterations with whom I'm familiar. They clutter up the page. It's not the only clutter. I honestly feel that there was very little story to the A-plot of this issue, so we are forever being distracted from the thrust of the story to see panel after panel of various characters' reactions to the main action. I'm sure for many people, part of the fun of crossover events, and to be fair, this was the first (or one of the earliest) such event of its kind, so the art of juggling such a huge number of characters wasn't quite there yet. For me, though, I need narrative flow. I would much rather see what we saw in issues #7 and #8, where we shift between a mere handful of POV characters between a distinctive A-plot and B-plot.

Speaking of the B-plot, and I fully admit that I'm being overly generous with that description, it's very much just a cobbling together of enough disparate characters' plotlines to give them a semblance of an emotional story to tell. Did we need to visit with Firehawk and the Teen Titans? Honestly, no. Did I enjoy their scene? Damn skippy. They wouldn't even be worth writing about except they manage to engage the reader, which is more than I can say for the villains. It feels like conflict by numbers, and a particularly silly one at that, since the villains-- even Brainiac and Luthor-- really ought to be pragmatists motivated by self-interest  and the last thing they should be doing on the brink of armageddon is forcing a conflict against the people who thus far have been the ones keeping the entirety of existence from being wiped out. It makes so little sense to me that I'm honestly questioning whether this entire issue was cooked up mid-way through production simply to fit the planned 12-issue format without truly thinking it all the way through. 

Okay, Crisis has me wiped out and I am in need of a break. Next week, I'm going to something much more of a one and done and with less thought involved. Maybe something cinematic. Some film I can dig my nuclear talons into and really rip apart... Care to join me in that particular quest for peace, gentle readers?

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