There's always room for Dick

A normal Tuesday in Gotham...

I vaguely recall the trade paperback of Batman: A Death in the Family being capped with the introduction of Tim Drake, who insists that Batman needs a Robin in order to keep him from getting too dark and crossing moral lines he oughtn't. On that note, Batman issue #636 opens up with Batman hanging a mook upside down.


Oh, I guess I ought to supply some context. Today we are returning to the pages of Batman with issue #636, the second installment of the "Under the Red Hood" story arc. We have mostly the same creative team returning, with Judd Winick writing, Doug Mahnke on pencils, Tom Nguyen on inks, colors by Alex Sinclair, and this time Pat Brosseau providing lettering. Additionally, the cover art was provided by Matt Wagner.

Once again, the art is amazing on the cover, even if I do have some problem with the proportions and perspective. He is dominating one half of the page, Facing and pointing his handgun directly at the reader. The other side of the page features Batman's cowl affixed to the wall with a knife. Below we see the sub-heading "The KING of Gotham City!"

It's striking to say the least, but I can't help but wonder if this is supposed to be seen from the point of view of someone with depth perception issues. The wall is supposed to be behind Black Mask and yet the cowl actually about as close as Black Mask. In fact the cowl looks larger than his own head. Also, his body language is a little off. He seems to be slouching his shoulders, which are at an odd angle, or maybe leaning over with his elbow tucked back but his forearm cheating forward so that it is facing smack center of the page. I can't help but feel like the artistic direction of this cover was changed mid-stream. The arm feels like a hastily inserted afterthought and Batman's cowl feels like an idea that could have been better on a different cover, but here is a bit of a square peg in a round hole.

My biggest problem with the cover however, is that in general I believe that a cover ought to offer the reader a hint at what they are going to see inside a given issue. Yes, Black Mask appears in this issue, but there is no confrontation between Batman and Black Mask. In fact, he very much takes a back seat in this issue. His scene is more or less limited to a discussion with his office manager. Not exactly the most engaging of scenarios, understandably. Considering what other fun things this issue has going on (Batman teaming up with an old friend, a thrilling chase scene, Mr. Freeze-related hijinks), the fact that this cover very falsely advertises what's in store feels like a misdirect and a bit of a cheat.

If you'll recall from last time we checked in on this arc, Batman got into a hissy fit after the events of War Games and kicked every one of his associates out of the Bat Cave and put a moratorium on costumed vigilantes other than himself in Gotham. Oh, and some foreign company bought out the R&D department, cutting off Batman's access to all those wonderful toys. Factor in the fact that a mysterious new figure styling himself as the Red Hood is currently muscling in on current kingpin of crime, Black Mask's territory and Masky has sought out the assistance of chaos gamer-turned-villain, Mr. Freeze to rectify the problem and Batman might have a few problems on his hands.

But like I said before, Batman works alone.

Once he is done playing a rousing game of human yo-yo with our nameless mook, he dwells on this newly-reasserted solitude. However, being Batman and having a chronic tendency to sublimate anything resembling affection by doubling down on being a Type-A personality, a pathological strategist, and frequent paranoid (it could seriously be argued that he's as effective as he is because of these three traits), he instead focuses on how exiling Barbara Gordon from the Batcave from Batcave is a blow to the operation, but one he finds necessary since he no longer finds he can trust his close-knit network of costumed crime fighters.

I've only read 2/3 of the preceding story arc, War Games story, but I can tell you it does hinge on a severe breech of trust by one of his allies... that was arguably instigated by Batman denying trust in the first place. It's also a story where Batman pushes his cohorts to the breaking point, particularly Barbara, so I wouldn't be surprised if things were said that couldn't be easily taken back, though presumably will by the next company wide crossover event.

Despite how impersonally he frames it, focusing on Barbara, who still has a larger role as a hero independently of Batman or even the Gotham vigilante scene in general. Whereas, Tim Drake and Cassandra Cain, the current Robin and Batgirl, respectively, both have closer ties to the operation. They were both trained by Batman before they took their mantles (Barbara's Batgirl tenure was far more independent), were explicitly trained to operate in tandem and subordinate to Batman in the field, and have costumed identities that are inherently tethered to the iconography and mythology of Batman.

Although, Batman's inner monologue focuses only on what her absence means to his crime fighting. Because thinking about what it means to have alienated a long-time friend would mean having to deal with emotions and Batman really sucks at them, especially when he can't contextualize them in terms of the mission.

However, Barbara Gordon feels like the right fit for him to focus on because while Tim is probably a more central role as Robin, Barbara has a longer history with Batman, is the only one to have truly suffered loss on account of being part of the heroism machine and managed to come back stronger for it. (Prior to the New 52) Contemporary DC has a much better track record than Marvel about letting its Golden and Silver Age teen characters mature into adulthood and Barbara is about on par with Dick Grayson. No, she slightly edges him out. For not only does Batman acknowledge her as a peer, but she makes him acknowledge him as an equal. I guess that's the benefit of fighting alongside Batman all these years without being ward/adoptive child/primary protege/all of the above. You get to come into your own on your own terms without dealing with Bruce's senior partner/junior partner bullshit.

Now that I have gone off on a Barbara Gordon tangent (it probably won't be the last time on this blog), I really need to get this ship back on course. Like Batman said before. He works alone.

Understatement: Batman kind of has the tunnel vision thing going on.

Oh, wait. Did I say he works alone? Yeah, apparently I was just joshing you because apparently, Dick Grayson is exempt from Batman's injunction. There's always room for Dick. He's like Jell-o, that way. He's in his guise as Nightwing, with a knee brace on from injuries sustained during War Games.

He's clearly trying to reach out to Bruce, not Batman, but Batman turns the most neutral of weather-related small talk into a reason to talk about the criminal element. Dick comments how easily Bruce made the connection between "warm night" and crime, but he has the wherewithal not to point out that his former legal guardian tends to retreat even further than usual into the Batman persona when confronted with trauma and complicated negative emotions.

Both in-universe and from a publication stand-point, Dick has always been a presence who serves to soften Batman's more off-putting traits. He was expressly introduced with the intent to make Batman less intimidating and get more kids reading. Tim was onto something when he said that Batman needs Robin because Dick set a good precedent of Batman's sidekicks being the ones who keep him from getting too dark. Tim was something of a morality pet, Jason was a lost soul in need of saving, Damian tends to accomplish it by completely inverting the dynamic, but Dick Grayson was the Boy Wonder who kept things light He moreso than the other Robins would be the one prone to crack wise and pun during their adventures. He defuses something in Batman that doesn't necessarily make him lighter in tone, but does make him ever so slightly less of a hardass.

Just like old times...

Batman acknowledges that Dick is here to check in on his emotional well-being, but doesn't vocalize thanks or rejection of his presence. Instead, he tells Nightwing he's working a case and won't stop him if he comes along. As they swing away on grappling hooks, Batman makes a slight joke (and a reversal of their initial dialogue, but when Dick expresses his amusement, Batman tells him to cork it, and he immediately responds "yes, sir." Remember when I mentioned that Babs generally does a better job at making Batman acknowledge her as an equal. Yeah, immediately falling into the big brother/little brother dynamic is probably why he generally has to move to a different major metropolitan area in order to assert his autonomy.

Sassy office banter can only lead to one thing...

Across town in the Black Mask's headquarters at Hanover Tower, the lab tech assigned to equipping Mister Freeze with a new cryo-suit makes the mistake of insulting Freeze's intelligence when he expressed concerns about how thin the armor feels. And while his reaction to the unintended insult is humorous, it is also telegraphed to the reader that this nameless tech is not long for this world.

That being casual murder. 

Sure enough, while the scene cuts to the other room where Black Mask and his number two guy, David Li, hash out the pros and cons of keeping a volatile psychotic (who has a tendency towards indiscriminatory destruction) in their employ when they are interrupted with word that Freeze has killed the lab tech. He stabbed him right in the chest with his own tool (soldering iron? sonic screwdriver?). And he isn't the first. As far as I can tell, this can't have been too long since the previous issue, maybe a day or two. How many can he have gone through?

Mask is amused by this, and calls him "spunky." He's already defending the hiring of an undoubtedly unstable element, citing that Freeze brings down destruction on all sides of him and that includes them, but I think Black Mask is only half listening to him because while he acknowledges that Freeze is a problem, they just need to make sure he is someone else's problem. Of course, you can't fault him for not listening to what Li says, considering he doesn't have ears, as far as I can tell.

I feel like this is Winick's attempt at infusing some humor into the book, but there are some tone issues here that don't quite work. Especially considering just in the previous arc, Black Mask pretty graphically tortured and killed a member of the Bat Family, depicting him as this riff on Dr. Evil complete with a silly plan and unmanageable henchmen seems like a really poor fit.

Li isn't too pleased with this, but also has some information on the new thorn in their side in the red helmet. It almost seems like this is when we're going to check in on our C plot, but instead we check back in with the Bat and the Bird on a docked cargo ship at the harbor, who are easily taking down a small contingent on armed goons in riot gear, interrupting their delivery. Batman's narration tells us something big was coming. Sure enough, it does look like it's about four square meters. I don't know what it is about that crate that makes me wish it was a velociraptor in there, but my knowledge of narrative convention in the DC universe makes me fairly certain it's not. So anything in there can only be a disappointment.

Batman might be my spirit animal.

This is the one section in which we get some of Batman's more personal internal monologue. You get the sense of not just camaraderie with Nightwing but kinship. Dick was the only Robin (before Damian, anyway) that Batman treated not only as a protege but also a surrogate son/younger sibling. He has seen Dick grow up, and certainly molded him into the man he is today. Whenever the the two have a latter-day team-up, there is a certain magic in the atmosphere, seeing just how well they click together. It must be magic even for Batman because even he gets the twinge of the nostalgic, thinking back to yo

Sidenote: Like Oracle, Nightwing grew up to be one of the linchpins of the DCU, albeit instead of IT prowess, his is due to his ability to form lasting friendships and loyalties. Ma and Pa Grayson must have really taught young Dick how to be a person because he sure didn't pick that up from the brooding Batman or the delightfully sardonic Alfred.

Once all the goons are either knocked out and/or hogtied with gatling wire, they get the crate to the ground and sadly I'm horrible at eyeing up measurements because this thing barely comes up to his waist. My guess is that it it shrunk because having had multiple jobs that involve loading and unloading things on pallets I knew what the dimensions are and they are not lining up. Oh! New theory! This box was inside the box on the pallet. It's like a Russian nesting doll.

Inside they find a vast array of multiple supervillains' accoutrements. Dick jokes about having some new trophies for the cave (actually, that's probably not a joke, just him chattering to make up for Batman's lack of chatter) when suddenly a "BREEEEEEEN' comes from the crate and they know what time it is: Get the hell out of Dodge time! A bomb planted in the crate blows the cargo ship up just in time for them to reach the safety of the dock, wet, albeit unharmed.

Cue the Benny Hill Theme!

It seems that the bomb wasn't something they triggered it was set off remotely by a figure whom Batman spots on a nearby warehouse rooftop.

And the art makes no bones about who the star of this issue is. Red Hood is absolutely gangbusters in this scene. Without him having a line of dialogue, the sense of movement and dynamism in his depiction. At one point we see him do a somersault that is downright Kirbyesque. It makes me really feel like this is someone a cut above the usual costumed crook. Also, the Kirby approach to depicting movement shows in a single panel all the nuances of a character's movement by using partially rendered figures for each motion, almost the way

Simone Biles level skill

They grappling hook their way up there and begin a wild goose chase over the rooftops of Gotham. Just like the flash forward fight sequence from last time, the chase itself gives the reader a chance to see Red Hood in action. But whereas last time, it was very combat specific, this time we see him in motion. He's acrobatic, and a natural at navigating the rooftops of Gotham, even managing to prevent Batman from snagging him with a batarang snare by slicing the cord before it manages to go taut. Something about him is very familiar to Batman.

Red Hood is a B.A.M.F.

Sidebar: the script has the word "taught" instead of "taut." Let that be a lesson to you kids, Spellcheck is your friend, but even friends let you do stupid things if it sounds okay on paper.

They ultimately track Red Hood down crashing down through the overhead windows of a warehouse. Do warehouses actually have overhead windows or is this just a convention of the medium? I will make allowances for Rule of Cool because I know how impressive it looks when heroes descend upon us from above, but I just want to know what to expect if I ever find myself exploring a warehouse.

It's dark inside, but only for a moment until the lights flicker on and Batman and Nightwing find themselves face to face with the real delivery they wanted to obstruct. Except it seems Red Hood has already taken Black Mask's new toy out of the box and wound it up, leaving our heroes to deal with Amazo.

Did you know steroids work on Androids?
#TheMoreYouKnow

If Amazo sounds like a very stupid Silver Age name, that's because you have ears and taste. Amazo doesn't really do the character justice, but on the other hand there isn't much to him either. Amazo is an android. Visually, at least in this instance, he resembles Namor the Submariner if he were a 'roided up gym rat. What he's capable is pretty much something that you saw a lot of super teams face in the Silver Age. He's the character who can take on the powers of an entire team of powered superheroes, forcing the team to get creative and show some ingenuity, demonstrating how a group can use their powers in creative ways in order to win the day. However, in case I didn't make it clear, he possesses the super-powered abilities of seven Justice League members. And Batman and Nightwing, highly trained and skilled or not, are baseline humans. This might be a little beyond their ken at the moment. And that's where the issue draws to a close.

So, now that we are two issues in, I'm noticing that this is well written, but a fairly light meal. Maybe it's because I'm typically drawn to very character driven narratives, but I'm not getting a sense of a lot to really sink my teeth into. Granted, usually what I mean by "sink my teeth into" generally means either "deconstruct and analyze" or "heckle mercilessly."

I guess it's part of the problem with decompressed story telling and a protagonist who goes the extra mile to compartmentalize, but I do find it troubling that even when we are in Batman's perspective, he is still a bit too emotionally detached for us to connect with. I think there is a strong temptation when writing Batman to make him just unrealistically adept at all things.  I do like this that tendency, but only when it is mitigated by one of two things: The first is to play up the argument that Batman's perfectionist tendencies might be the by-product of being a bit of a psychiatric case. The second would be to show a contrast between what he says and how he acts. One of the narrative functions unique to comics is the ability to line up thoughts and deeds next to each other and create a more nuanced understanding of the character.

The Black Mask and Mr. Freeze story is coming along, but for such significant threats, the writing doesn't seems to be certain whether they are serious or comedic foes. Yes, Mr. Freeze kills at a hat drop, but the fact that Black Mask thinks it's a hoot. I'm all for having fun, comical villains, but I question whether this was the authorial intent. Or whether it earns its place in the narrative. They're not here to move their sub-plot along, just to remind you it exists. I'm honestly wondering how much of their scene we could cut without losing any narrative cohesion. My guess is quite a lot.

Overall, this issue keeps the ball rolling from last issue, albeit slowly. The story definitely took things up a notch with Red Hood, which I am all for. Last issue we saw how he one-ups the criminals, this time we saw just what a wild goose chase he can give our heroes. He's shaping into quite a classic trickster god figure, like Loki, or Hermes, or Malcolm Reynolds.

Next week, we're heading back to Marvel for another installment of mutant dinosaurs, evil cavemen, and girl geniuses in the pages of Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur.

The Evil League of Evil

After the past two issues, I had almost grown complacent, hoping that Marv Wolfman and George Perez had reached a new plateau in their storytelling. Alas, though, this latest issue shows us that we may have perhaps been on a brief reprieve. Or was it? I think this issue manages to relapse into being all over the place, but it still manages to maintain a focus in a manner that really shifts the reader's vantage point in a way that hasn't been explored in the series up until now. While, this issue reverts to form by being all over the place in terms of action, locations, etc., one could argue that in terms of narrative and perspective, this is perhaps the most focused issue yet.

The cover of issue #9 of Crisis on Infinite Earths is basically a team shot, villains edition. They're in a big stampede, with Brainiac's skull ship dominating the background and Lex Luthor leading the charge in the foreground. I don't have all that much to say about it because... well, half these guys are either really unfamiliar to me or I simply don't recognize them in their current designs. And there are a lot of villains. Maybe too many. I get that the creative team wanted to convey just how much of an impressive team of baddies that has been mustered, but it looks like the attempt to squeeze in as many as possible made it look a little messy.

We open up on Oa, home of the Guardians of the Universe, aka the little blue space jerks that are best known for quibbling over parliamentary procedure and being the Green Lantern Corps' bosses. It's here that we also meet for the first time in this event the literally red-headed stepchild of the Green Lantern characters, Guy Gardner. Going into this series, I have something of a frame of reference for him. The first trade paperback I ever read was The Death of Superman, where he was a member in the included issues of Justice League America. Additionally, Geoff Johns included him in some of the GL stories of his I've read, including Green Lantern Rebirth. Most importantly, this:

In-universe, Guy is the Green Lantern everyone can agree on... not liking. He is to Hal Jordan and John Stewart what US Agent is compared to Captain America. Both are still heroic characters, but filtered through the zeitgeist of the Reagan era which accentuated some more negative traits that goes with it. Such as jingoism, American exceptionalism and toxic masculinity. But where the contrast between Captain America and US Agent created an interesting discourse on what it means to be a hero representating of a nation's idealism, Guy compared to the other GL's more or less comes off as a bit of a jerkass and a cocky hothead. Although, I have a thing for jerkass heroes, as they tend to get a lot of the best lines (see also: Damian Wayne, Emma Frost, Namor).

Guy Gardner: Most Stylish GL.

It seems the Guardians, having previously offered Guy a position with the Corps are doing so again specifically to help deal with the events of Crisis. Guy declares that he always wanted the ring and confidently declares that no evil will escape his sight, as is the wont of any self-respecting corps member. It makes me wonder what has happened to John Stewart to necessitate giving Guy a ring (John's ring?) Sometimes it's easy to forget since I'm reading this series on its own 30 years out from its publication that it was still running concurrently to DC's regular ongoing titles.

So much for new hire orientation...

It's interesting to note that while John was basically wearing the same suit that Hal wore, Guy has a bit more flare. He's wearing a black-gray unitard with a thick turtleneck collar, chunky boots, gloves, and belt all three of which are accented by what look like either buckles or pouches (excessive buckles and pouches are to the late 80s/90s what needless piping is to today's design issues), and the bringing the look together is an emerald green sleeveless double-breasted bomber jacket with a GL emblem in the center. I won't lie, I like the jacket, but the other touches seem a little pointless. The suit is just a construct of the GL ring. Why are there so many buckles in a suit that doesn't actually require closures? The form isn't following the function when a function is non-existent. Also, a turtleneck? Seriously? Did he just happen to leave directly from a coffee house poetry reading? But this is fine. Silly, but fine. We are definitely moving closer to the ridiculous redesigns we'll see in the 90's but we aren't quite at ninjas wearing cyber battle armor quite yet..

How do we know Ganthet
didn't arrange their deaths
to do away with
pointless bureaucracy?

Guy's hasn't been inducted for a whole minute when a blast of energy coming from the darkness beyond Oa hits the planet with pinpoint accuracy, turning GL headquarters to rubble and dust. Guy, having survived his first full minute in the corps, is shocked to find that the Guardians are dead, having believed them immortal. One managed to survive, he goes unnamed, but due to his prominence in GL lore, I'd say he's probably Ganthet. He basically says, and I'm paraphrasing, "yes we're immortal, so any force that can kill all but one of us is a nigh-insurmountable force to be reckoned with. Enjoy your first (suicide) mission.

It's a redux of the cover.

I'd argue that the issue gets a little sloppy whenever this issue turns to the united league of villains, and you can pretty much take it as read at this point that the creative team is plowing through important plot points in order to position the greater DCU into where it needs to be for the sake of the event. However, because of this, it's also where the issue gets a little madcap, which is always fun. We find ourselves inside Brainiac's bigheadship, where T.O. Morrow is the last person to arrive at the party, having been teleported from the Watchtower and the entire guest list consists of villains. All the villains. All of them.

Running the background of the major events of the previous three issues, we've been seeing all these less-than-morally upright characters vanish into thin air, but the demands of a world ending crisis event has kept the heroes from pursuing or sometimes even noticing the disappearances. Finally, we get to see the fruits of this slow-burn of a plot point. They have all been assembled by Brainiac and Lex Luthor with the sole goal of, what else, taking over the world! All five of them!

On a sidenote, it's quite honestly equal parts baffling and amusing to see a version of Lex whose business cards clearly lead with "supervillain/mad scientist" in big bold letters and wears green and purple power armor complete with an ornate Egptian-style skirt. I think his post-Crisis reinvention by John Byrne crystalized him as a savvy legitimate corporate businessman (and later politician) who pull the strings at a distance and never gets his hands dirty. Pre-crisis Lex might as well be disco dancing in a rhinestone studded leisure suit for how charmingly retro he feels.

Alexie Luthor is about to get ejected from...

... The No Homers Club

When the Lex of Earth-2, who still has his hair but none of his sartorial flair questions who put Earth-1 Lex in charge, claiming he could out-science him and they don't need him, Brainiac concludes that he makes a logical argument that they don't need two Lex Luthors. It does not end well for red head Lex. On the one hand, it's an effective way to get everyone on-board, but on the other hand, destroying members of your talent pool just to make an example of him is just going to end up causing friction that will end up biting them in the ass. The last remaining Lex begins to dish out the plan as we cut to a different space-faring vessel...

A Tamaranian space Captain Karras and first mate/yeoman/possible sexual partner, Taryia are prepping for Koriand'r, aka Starfire, and two of her teammates from the Teen Titans to be beamed aboard. From what I can tell, from reading the first 9 or 10 issues of New Teen Titans, Tamaranians are the Deltans from Star Trek The Motion Picture spliced with Flash Gordon design aesthetics and given a fire/solar power gimmick. What that basically means is that they are sensual, relatively lack boundary issues, wear wacky space opera apparel, and can shoot energy beams... or at least Starfire can because she was experimented on.

Oh, right, that's probably important. Starfire was the princess of her people but was basically sold into slavery to spare her people from the terrors of a superior conquering force, who proceeded to make a test subject out of her, and I think heavily implied to have used her for sex, so I can't see a reunion with her people, who allowed those kind of violations as yielding a lot of fond memories. The captain and his buxom lieutenant hint at some very important responsibility that Kory will have when they arrive at their homeworld, but just leave that hanging for the time being.

Yeah, I looked these two up--
they're totally doing it off-panel.

In short order, Starfire, along with her teammates, Nightwing and Jericho. It's funny that the Tamaranians are very much cosplaying Flash Gordon but playing with Star Trek toys because that teleporter effect? Yeah, that borders on copyright infringement, complete with the rounded appearance of a Starfleet teleporter pad and kirby dots taking the place of the crystaline effect of Trek's transporters. I bet the longer you hang with the Tamaranians, the more you'll come to realize that they really are just a jumble of homages to other space-faring sci-fi properties.

It would be shameful of me not to point out that Nightwing is in his infamous first costume after changing superhero personas, which despite first appearing in the mid-80's is spectacularly disco. Not many men can pull off a deep V-neck AND the arch cowl from a Bela Lugosi Dracula cape, but Dick Grayson found a way. Although, with an ass like his, you can get away with a lot worse. I'm not quite as familiar with Jericho, but basically, he's the son of the probably New Teen Titan's most famous antagonist/uneasy ally/frenemy, Deathstroke the Terminator. He's mute (I think his throat was slashed during his childhood, which was probably pretty rough based on his pedigree), has possession and/or astral projection powers, can really pull of a killer mutton chops/jewfro combo, and dresses like he LARPs as a cleric. Oh, and I'm fairly certain his character met with both figurative and literal character assassination in the 90s because the 90s are why we can't have nice things.

Maybe it's not that she's open,
but that Dick was raised by Bruce Wayne.

Kory seems quite thrilled to be going home to the planet and family that sold her into human bondage with implied sexual implications and happily introduces Nightwing to the captain, whom I am guessing she just met, as her lover. Dick is taken aback, having forgotten how open and expressive Tamaranians are about intimate matters. It's adorably awkward. Also, I suppose it makes sense that he'd forget about that fact, since no doubt Kory has adapted to how she interacts with humans in the five years since she debuted, but can easily slip back into her instinctive manner of behavior when among her own people.

In hushed tones, but still heard by Jericho (does muteness give you superhearing a la Daredevil?) Taryia tells Arras that Kory must know, if she plans on taking her lover along. Because taking her platonic friend along apparently doesn't mandate transparency. Poor Jericho. The third wheel isn't even worth acknowledging, let alone factoring into making considerations.

Meanwhile, back on terra firma, Cyborg and Firehawk, fresh off the exploding Red Tornado debacle, are flying/leaping across Manhattan until the finally meet up with the rest of the Teen Titans, Wonder Girl, Kole, Changeling on a rooftop. Their conversation as they make their approach belies the fact that the provisional stability the five Earths have are not without their problems, as part of NYC seems to be in more flux than usual. There is a part of the city being referred to as the "Warp Zone," as 1984 was a hot minute before Nintendo permanently added the term to our collective subconscious.

Will there also be maps to the dinosaurs' homes?

On Earth-1, however, the Warp Zone is a place where the timey wimey stuff from earlier in the event is still happening. Dinosaurs and Zeppelins roam the land in this area where time is in flux, as we are informed amusingly in a page full of DC's science luminaries being interviewed with questions by DC's reporters. Surprisingly enough, the two most interesting interactions are from an evil pr reporter a good guy, whom we haven't seen the last of this issue. They both ask questions that in one way or another shows that maybe their head isn't in a place of well-balanced journalism. Jack Ryder's asking how a time anomaly will effect the crime element is a bit baffling, but Bethany Snow asks a a roboticist about the anomaly, a field that is outside his purview, and then getting smug about his inability to field her question. Yeah, that's one way to gain the trust of the viewing public. Guess which one is the bad guy.

Journalism at its finest.

In the grand scheme of this event, that's probably small potatoes, but since the New Teen Titans collectively are the protagonist on this issues B plot (note how little time I've thus far devoted to the main plot), we are concerned by Wonder Girl's husband being somewhere in the newly minted Anachronism District.

Consider your choices, 'Hawk...

Firehawk convinces Wonder Girl to let her keep her company in the search for her husband, Terry. Gar hits on Firehawk as they fly off. The two bond over the fact that Changeling and Firestorm are girl crazy. Even though Firehawk admits that on Firestorm, it works for her. Different strokes, as they say... Although, I really wish the caption as they fly off didn't tell the reader to follow their story in the next issue of Firestorm, I wish they'd accidentally ended up going to Earth-7642 (the DC/Marvel crossover Earth) and made friends with the Danielle Moonstar of this era, because Sunspot was similarly awful/wonderful in his youth. Although, bare in mind Changeling and Sunspot are still young enough in this era that you can chock it up to immaturity. Firestorm is a college student in this era. And a college student in 1984-- an actual adult. Ergo, I maintain that Firestorm is the worst.

Meanwhile, Clark Kent is reporting the news... and it's only now that I realize just how weird it is that Clark and Lois are tv reporters instead of print journalists in this era. I understand DC's efforts to keep their characters relevant to the times. It actually made a lot of sense, for instance, when the Clark of the New 52 was writing for an online news outlet. But seeing Clark behind a news desk is just a little unexpected. The whole thing about Clark, at least when he's in Metropolis, or Gotham, or pretty much anywhere besides Smallville, is that he goes out of his way to effect an unassuming demeanor. In fact he'd probably want to keep out of the direct spotlight, lest his face as a news caster and his face as the prominently featured news story both appear often enough that viewers start putting two and two together.

Probably neighbors with that Charlie Brown kid.

Now that I've tangented, time to start another tangent. Clark is finishing up a broadcast, telling viewers that Alexander Luthor will be meeting with the UN that afternoon. Meanwhile, his co-workers discuss how cold his delivery is and how he's been like this since Supergirl's death. Then, perplexingly, we cut to a panel of what looks like someone from whatever reality the Family Circus characters live in watching the end of Clark's broadcast. There is seriously nothing about this little boy's appearance or the pictures on his desk that suggest that he exists in the same shared multiverse. I'm not joking when I say he looks like a Sunday newspaper humor strip. I did some digging and found out that, no, this character is neither a pre-crisis DC character or one who will be folded into Post-Crisis DC. However, he was created by DC back in the days before the concept of shared universes was even a glimmer in Lee and Kirby's minds. His name is Bernie the Brain, a featured character in the book Sugar and Spike (the titular characters appear in the framed photographs, in exactly the position they'd appear above the title of their book. They were characters created by Sheldon Mayer, one of the earliest creators and editors of All-American Comics, which later became the company we now know as DC Comics.

The book briefly reaches into the past of Earth-1, where we catch back up with the characters from Haunted Tank and Our World At War in time for them the witness of wave of fushia energy. It's gone before they have the time to figure out what is going on. But the reader gets to see just a taste of what to come, as the same wave seems to be traveling further into the past. And the narration hints that it is a past that is ready to be changed. I'm not sure if this is phase umpteen of Anti-Monitor's evil plot or the actual fabric of DC's multiverse trying to knit itself back together into a cohesive hole, but either way it's sufficiently ominous.

Now, before we go further, I feel it's important to state that this point is the dime upon which this issue is going to radically turn. It is suddenly going to have a lot of momentum propelling it forward with a lot of smaller but interesting sub-plots to... just silliness. But I am worried I'll have less to say because the book becomes both cameo porn and very punchy punchy. I'm always going to be more about character building and plot progression than action. Sorry. There's less meat on the bone, but there is still some interesting stuff and I'll try to be fair to it.

As if we haven't already seen a horde of villians earlier...

For the first time in a few issues, we turn our attention to the three last minute sidequests Earths. Not only have we given them much thought, it turns out the hero community at-large hasn't either. After the mission into the Evil Anti-Matter Universe, it seems like all of The heroes from Earth-4, Earth-X, and Earth-S migrated to Earth-1, leaving their own worlds defenseless. As the old saying goes, "with great power comes... Eh fuck it, let's go hang out at the cool kids' house." And finally, we return to this issue's selling point. VILLAINS ATTACK!!!

And honestly, it's the part of the issue that I probably have the least to talk about, which is really disappointing, considering how long this subplot has gradually been coming together and how much the cover attempts to sell it. For now, all our baddies are only seen in shadow as we watch civilians being rounded up and a couple panels of the few remaining heroes of the 3 sidequest Earths possibly knocked out, but more likely totally deadskies. I am utterly incapable of ID'ing either of the fallen heroes, but I'm guessing as we get closer to the end of this maxi series, they are merely the first trickle in a flood of C-Lister deaths.

Meanwhile, in the UN, Pariah fails at adhering to dress codes. While addressing a cross-dimensional session of the UN, Pariah is still dressed like he's cosplaying as a sorcerer's apprentice, meanwhile Alexander Luthor is I a three-piece suit and Lyla is in a puffy fushia blouse with her hair in a bun. Did Pariah, just not get the memo about attire or is he stuck in what he was wearing when he broke the multiverse for the rest of his existence? 

The three of them a calmly, evenly attempting to keep the leaders of 5 worlds apprised of the current status quo of the story and it's honestly refreshing to see Pariah demonstrating a relaxed demeanor. But that can't last, can it?

While they are having this conference, Wonder Woman, in her Diana Prince persona, and Lady Quark, wearing a trench coat over the costume she was wearing when she arrived, are watching the proceedings on a display in the window of an electronics store. I can only assume that the reason the sole survivor of her dimension and an actual ambassador aren't in the UN assembly hall is because it would have been gauche for them to hold a private conversation in person.

A grudge for the ages... until the event resets continuity.

This is the second time on the same page that we have a character who has been trapped on Earth-1 for weeks, if not a couple months, and yet is still wearing the attire she arrived in. Unlike with Pariah, I can see no reason why she can't change her clothes, which makes me think it's either a) it's a containment suit for her powers, b) the denizens of Earth-6 are allergic to Earth-1's textiles, or c) it's the only thing she has left of the world she knew and can't bare to take it off.

The two discuss Lady Quark's vengeful feelings toward Pariah, for his indirectly causing the destruction of her world when he awoke the Anti-Monitor. Diana argues that she can't hold it against him forever, as it was an accident. Lady Quark concedes that someday she may forgive, but will never forget. I'd really be interested to follow her through her appearances post-Crisis because she is filled with justifiable anger, and yet is conflicted, and suffering an incredible loss.

Considering from what I understand, the Post-Crisis DCU exists as though it had always been that way, I wonder how the incorporate her backstory. Though, to be fair, as far as my research could turn up, she Lord Volt, Princess Fern, and the denizens of Earth-6 were created specifically for Crisis, so at least fans at the time hadn't had time to really emotionally commit to those characters. Wow. her whole planet existed just to die. Imagine a whole planet of Uncle Bens and Thomas & Martha Waynes just walking around, giving speeches about great responsibility and wearing pearls just in case their tragic deaths should come at any moment.

Good ol' Pariah...

Back at the UN, the questions delivered to the Crisis trio start to get a bit more pointed. Coincidentally, Pariah returns to form, has a bit of a freak out, and vanishes, declaring that the danger has not ended. I can't help but notice this just happens to occur when he's posed with questions about international/dimensional diplomacy that he can't answer and that shine a huge freaking spotlight at his terrible accountability track record.

Not to worry, though. Pariah's presence is soon after replaced with the gigantic floating head of Brainiac holographically being projected into the UN assembly hall. I'm sorry, but this is a just hilariously perfect instance of text book supervillainy.  I look at this scene and I can't help but think of the giant statue head of Thetis (Maggie Smith) in Clash of the Titans (the real one from 1981), crashing to the floor of the temple and declaring her demands for a virgin sacrifice. He gets the leader of Earth-1 caught up on what we already know-- that Earths-4, X, and S have been conquered by the Villainous People's Front. Or the People's Front of Villainy. Or possibly the Villainous Popular People's Front.


Brainiac leaves it to Lex Luthor to explain their demands. Luthor materializes (or is projected into) in the chamber, causing Alexander to be surprised that Lex Luthor looks so much like his father. Nine issues in and Alexander needs the concept of alternate realities explained to him. Hoo boy. Lex says that since five is a much better number than three, he demands that Earths-1 and 2 surrender to them or they will destroy the Earths that they do have. And I cannot help but think this is such an unadorned bluff. If Earths-1 and 2 refuse, and they make good on their threats, they'll have no Earths under their control.  Ye gods, this is so transparently dumb silver age logic. Of course, the five Earths being linked, them destroying the Earths they have will destroy all of them. Again, another flaw in the plan-- if all the Earths are destroyed-- where are you guys going to keep all your stuff? This is an incredibly dumb plan of last resort that the villains are treating like a master stroke. Lex, the supposed genius gives them fifteen minutes to come to a conclusion. Fifteen minutes for the united governments of two different Earths to make up their minds about the fate of the multiverse, whereas today, it apparently takes the US government of only one Earth weeks and weeks just to come to a consensus of who can use which bathroom. Let's hope 1984 wasn't an election year in the DCU.

This sort of victim blaming sounds like it would actually fly in today's culture.

Having heard this, Clark Kent finds somewhere private and busts open his shirt for the classic S shield reveal, then flies off declaring "this is a job for Superman!" I think this might be one of the last times that expression can be used without being twinged with irony because I feel like the DCU that we find after Crisis, is far more emotionally grounded. It's funny to note that he has on a Legion ring. Was this his from when he was Superboy (yeah, pre-Crisis, Superboy was just younger Superman and not a discrete character unto himself) or is he wearing Supergirl's as a remembrance?

The Creeper. Yeah, I don't get it, either...

Next, we cut to one of the reporters we saw earlier, Jack Ryder, transforms into honestly the oddest DC Hero I've come across in a while: The looks like the love child of the Joker and Kraven the Hunter. Based on what I learned from my reliable source, Dr. Internet, I get the impression that Creeper is a character that has been around for ages and writers will periodically keep trying to make him work, but he never seems to stick around for long.

Meanwhile, in 1917, an aviator notices that pink field in the sky from earlier. Just in case you were forgetting that particular plot point...

Back in the present, the heroes of Earths-1 and 2 attempt to break through a barrier that the villains have put up around Earth-4 while Alexander Luthor continues to argue with a UN delegate.

Wally's private time.

Then we cut to the idyllic little hamlet of Blue Valley, where Wally West, currently Kid Flash, hereafter known as Best Flash, is laying in bed in his boxer shorts reading a letter and eating an apple, where he is recruited by Jay Garrick, and Lyla. Because nobody believes in knocking the door. Being a teenage boy in his undies, Jay and Lyla should be relieved that he has an apple in his hand and not something else.

Lyla and Jay don't even knock.

And-- oh, my stars and garters. This is the first time we're seeing Lyla's complete new ensemble and I just want to know who she's taking to prom. I'm fairly certain I've seen this get-up during a screening of Teen Witch (kids, ask your parents about that seminal 80s classic). Lyla mentions that the Monitor's notes said Wally had a problem and a certain knowledge that they need. Jay Garrick says with Barry Allen being MIA, Wally's on deck and offers Wally his old ring. Do the Titans use rings too or is this his Flash-brand costume ring?

Jay proposes to Wally and a thousand shippers cry out in unison...

Wally is game, and one transition later, he and Jay are prepping a cosmic treadmill (just... just go with it), which will let an assembled army of heroes cross to the captured Earths. A page worth of cameo padding later, the two speedsters put their pedals to the metal and open up a rift which takes forever because this book is dedicated to the noble art of watching characters watching other characters doing shit.

From here on, the comic, is just a protracted fight scene and some more C-List fodder the most notable I can recall is Tula, aka Aquagirl. Earth-4 seems to have the most generic subjugation, although Chemo has poisoned the oceans. Earth-S has been turned into a frozen wasteland. Over on Earth-X, Poison Ivy (who either looks bland in general or bland when not a redhead) has initiated a floral apocalypse.

Oh, no. Not.. whatshername...?!

Firestorm's gonna get it.

Of course the villains get various moments to shine. the Joker taunts the Freedom Fighters now trapped in Ivy's vines, and the fact that Uncle Sam starts of his retort with the word "sonny," really just cements how dedicatedly folksy/charming he is. Meanwhile, on Hoth Earth-S, Killer Frost tells her other weather and ice-themed brethren that they cannot underestimate the forces that the heroes can marshal. And believe you me, I am waiting for Firestorm to get his comeuppance after going along with Frostie's mind rape and manipulation... and being a creep about it, too.

What is more interesting than the fighting itself is the narration, which is actually a conversation between Brainiac and Luthor, who are such chessmasters in this issue. All the other villains they've assembled are expendable pawns. Not just expendable, they expressly intend for both the rest of the villains and the heroes to either kill one another or burn each other out, making them easier to subjugate when Brainiac and Luthor will swoop in and win the day for themselves alone. Better the heroes take out some of the more deadly of their allies than have to do it themselves. Ye gods, the secret evil plan, is so much cleverer than the publicly announced plan.

Did you try shutting it down and
turning it back on?

Luthor notices that he's been monologuing for a while and he turns to Brainiac to see why he's so quiet. The machine man is very still but then starts sputtering red hot energy and kirby dots and explodes. In the wake of the explosion, Luthor is knocked to the floor. He looks around to find the big, glass-domed head of Psimon gloating over his cleverness and suspicious nature. And looking particularly  declaring that "Psimon says Luthor must die as well!" Yeah, considering my first toe in the DC waters after over a decade of being a Marvel purist was the Young Justice cartoon series, I really appreciate Psimon getting really creepy and calculating villain moments. Apart from the body horror that is the upper half of his skull, there is something horrifying about the whites of his eyes being blackened and his pupils glowing while as he stares down arguably the kingpin of DC's pantheon of villains after having just blown Luthor's only recognized equal to smithereens. Surprisingly enough, I think this is only the second time the issue hasn't ended with a big reveal splash page. Although, whereas with the final page of Supergirl's funeral, I kind of feel the team wanted to capture every moment of Superman laying his cousin to rest, in this moment, I just feel like they were rushed, less emotionally invested in this leg of the narrative, and honestly just wanted to get it over with.

Psimon:
B for villainy, A+ for villain speechifying.

It is a flashbang, both literally and figuratively for the issue's A-plot, but overall, the villains' story in this issue is not worth the slow burn of a build up it has received over the previous few issues. I imagine for someone who was reading at the time, seeing all the villians of the era was satisfying, but so many of the villains either aren't prominent enough for me to be all that familiar, did not make it it into the Post-Crisis DCU, or do not resemble the iterations with whom I'm familiar. They clutter up the page. It's not the only clutter. I honestly feel that there was very little story to the A-plot of this issue, so we are forever being distracted from the thrust of the story to see panel after panel of various characters' reactions to the main action. I'm sure for many people, part of the fun of crossover events, and to be fair, this was the first (or one of the earliest) such event of its kind, so the art of juggling such a huge number of characters wasn't quite there yet. For me, though, I need narrative flow. I would much rather see what we saw in issues #7 and #8, where we shift between a mere handful of POV characters between a distinctive A-plot and B-plot.

Speaking of the B-plot, and I fully admit that I'm being overly generous with that description, it's very much just a cobbling together of enough disparate characters' plotlines to give them a semblance of an emotional story to tell. Did we need to visit with Firehawk and the Teen Titans? Honestly, no. Did I enjoy their scene? Damn skippy. They wouldn't even be worth writing about except they manage to engage the reader, which is more than I can say for the villains. It feels like conflict by numbers, and a particularly silly one at that, since the villains-- even Brainiac and Luthor-- really ought to be pragmatists motivated by self-interest  and the last thing they should be doing on the brink of armageddon is forcing a conflict against the people who thus far have been the ones keeping the entirety of existence from being wiped out. It makes so little sense to me that I'm honestly questioning whether this entire issue was cooked up mid-way through production simply to fit the planned 12-issue format without truly thinking it all the way through. 

Okay, Crisis has me wiped out and I am in need of a break. Next week, I'm going to something much more of a one and done and with less thought involved. Maybe something cinematic. Some film I can dig my nuclear talons into and really rip apart... Care to join me in that particular quest for peace, gentle readers?

Supergirl's last gleaming

One of comics' most iconic covers.

Before I say anything else, I think after slogging through the first 6 issues of this series with my opinions of them being decidedly in the mixed category, I can happily say that this issue was fantastic. It's focused, has a sense of purpose, and has a sense of stakes and consequences that feel real. More importantly, I felt an emotional reverberation that the first 6 issues honestly lacked. The previous issues all seem like they are constantly at risk of buckling under the weight and scope of the sprawling narrative that ranges across time, and space, and realities. With this issue, however, the story zeroes in on characters in a way it hadn't before. Oh, don't get me wrong, the gratuitous size of the cast is still there, but the POV doesn't shift quite so often. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Back to the old beat-by-beat...

Lyla and Alexander are floating around in space on an asteroid. Lyla is pretty much tapped as far as powers and Alexander is pretty much being kept to the rear for some sort of final trump card because he is made of both matter and anti-matter. Pariah appears insists that Lyla must know why the Monitor set up his “eternal life/appear at mass misery” powers. She says she does and says that perhaps it is time for explanations, but first she tells him to take the three of them to earth, where “all will be enlightened.”

Cut to Earth-S, home of Captain Marvel, Mary Marvel, Uncle Marvel, and presumably Fetus Marvel. Also, an anthropomorphic tiger because Earth-S is the best place in the DC Multiverse.

This looks like the beginning of furry slash a beautiful 
friendship.

Two characters I’m assuming are part of Captain Marvel’s rogues gallery are having a discussion. Sivana is your run of the mill 50’s mad scientist. Short, bald, round glasses, lab coat. Ibbac seems to be his designated hired muscle. Big, not too bright, doesn’t wear a shirt (very hairy chest—woof),and has a short proto-mohawk. Sivana thinks he’s ahead of the curve. He tells Ibbac of his plan to take over all five Earths before anyone knows what has happened. Captain Marvel appears, totally interrupted the supervillain monologue because I’m assuming Captain Marvel, his alter being only a kid, lacks proper superhero/villain etiquette. Before that gets too far Sivana and Ibbac vanish.

The Murky and Lurky of Earth-S

             
We see that Psycho Pirate’s hold on the heroes of Earth-4, Earth-S, and Earth-X has dissipated and they’re playing nice with the Earth-1/Earth-2 heroes who were sent there to help.

Meanwhile, the heroes of Earth-2 commiserate over their maimed comrade, Wildcat. They are secretly observed by someone who was on the scene when it happened, Yolanda Montez. She seems to know who his secret identity is. Her thought bubbles say she regrets never having told him about her own powers and regrets that they would have made a good team. In this issue, she has donned his costume, which really must have been taken in to be such a snug fit on a woman. She’s the new Wildcat. If this proves important is anybody’s guess.

The Exposition station has been downsized to Exposition asteroid.

               Back to the whole universally-significant plot, Lyla, Alexander, and Pariah have gathered up six characters, one from a different Earth, only five of them from a still extant Earth: the Superman of Earth-1, the Superman of Earth-2 (the older one), the Blue Beetle of Earth-4, Lady Quark of Earth-6 (the sole survivor), Uncle Sam (yes that Uncle Sam) of Earth-X, and Captain Marvel of Earth-S. Also, Alexander is from Earth-3 and Pariah is, safe to assume, not from one of the main Earths either, but the writers seem to have forgotten that. Lyla is telling these representatives the big explanation in the hopes that they will explain it to the rest of the population of their respective earths.

Elections were not held, I'm taking it.

Ages ago, there was only one universe and the people of the planet Oa (distinguished by their blue skin, white hair, and penchant for robes) were the sole residents (or sole residence of consequence) and were an immortal, scientifically advanced utopia. That is… until one of them who is selfish about his scientific discoveries, named Krona, scienced too hard and created both the Evil Anti-Matter Universe and the multiverse. Oa seems to be the only planet without duplicates in the other dimensions with the exception of the exception of the EAMU, where it is known as Qward (Oa being the one from the Positive Matter Universe). As punishment for his actions, Krona is turned into immortal incorporeal energy… because no comic book character has ever come back from an eternal prison or anything like that. Oh, when he’s sentenced he’s totally saying “you will suffer for this,” putting him firmly in General Zod territory.

   The Oans get hypervigilant about maintaining the integrity of the multiverse and anti-matter universe, since one of their own was responsible. At first they created the Manhunters, which were machines, but later abandoned them in favor of creating the Green Lantern Corps. [Quick case of backtracking for something I forgot to mention in an earlier recap. GL John Stewart and other corpsmen have been having trouble using their rings. A trip to present-day Oa in issue 5 or 6 revealed that the Guardians are trapped in a stasis field. These two facts will probably tie into this somehow.]

The GLC’s rings are powered by an energy source the Oans generate. I don’t see how this really fits into the multiverse, since the GLC acts more like intergalactic cops than interdimensional ones. But I digress… Not all Oans were satisfied with the GLC, which led to an Oan civil war, resulting in half the Oan population to an alternate dimension, where they built destructive weapons and evolved into a race known as “The Controllers.” I’ll hazard a guess and say they’re bad news.

I wonder if they shrank and went nearly bald as a species from dealing with the likes of Kilowog.

               Over the course of the millenia, it's probably important to note, they evolved from fairly  humanoid with blue skin into blue yoda-sized guys. 

Anti-Monitor might as well be a space zombie.

               On the moons of Oa and Qward, respectively, the Monitor and Anti-Monitor sprang into being. The Anti-Monitor took control of Qward and created an army of “thunderers” (no idea what those are), the elite among them he changed into the shadow demons who have been plaguing the heroes on the various Earths in the COIE series thus far. With these, he conquered the EAMU.

            Meanwhile, the Monitor was basically going the route of asceticism—meditation and learning the secrets of the universe. Running out of things to conquer, Anti-Monitor sensed the Monitor across the multiverse, recognizing him both as his other self and as something to be conquered, resulting in a million years of stalemated warring between them until they both blasted each other into a very long comatose state for 9 million years. It turns out that Pariah was the one who woke the Anti-Monitor. He considers it 1 of 3 of the sins he must atone for. Thought we were done with the info dump? Ah, such optimism…

Unreliable narrator?

           Pariah can’t even tell us which Earth he’s from, it’s just a foggy memory for him. Like most of the major players riding COIE’s backstory asteroid, he was a brilliant scientist who created wonders that damn near created a perfect world—he was like Jesus, DaVinci, and Caesar Augustus all rolled into one. Then he discovered the existence of the multiverse, which was frowned on by his people because they have a damnation prophesy regarding learning the origins of the universe, but he (like most comic book scientists, I now realize) is made up of 99% hubris. He builds an anti-matter chamber to explore the multiverse and destroyed his universe in the process because matter and anti-matter cannot co-exist. Whoops.

This is what we in the professional world call a "whoopsie daisy."

       He was kept alive in solitude for 1 million years. The explosion of his world caused the Anti-Monitor to awaken and feed upon the energies of Pariah’s world, making him stronger and more powerful than the Monitor.

To Summarize Pariah’s Three Sins:

1.      Exploding his own universe.

2.      The Explosion awakening the Anti-Monitor.

3.      The Anti-Monitor increasing his powers by feedings on the energies of the exploded universe.
Conclusion: So, he didn’t really commit three sins. He committed one sin that had compounded levels of bad results.

               Lyla chimes in to mention that he also woke up the Monitor. Silver linings… Being more proactive this time, and made Pariah into a being with the ability to sense and be drawn to dimensionally cataclysmic events and he would follow Pariah to them. But with every universe the Anti-Monitor destroys, the Monitor’s powers wane. The Monitor looked for heroes to aid in his mission and in the process, he found Lyla as a girl drowning at sea and takes her as his own and raises her as his daughter.

Isn't this the same backstory for Fury and/or Troia?
Pretty homogeneous origin story for Amazons not named Diana, huh?

                Now that we’re done this, Lady Quark is about ready to pounce on Pariah for his part in all this, but Captain Marvel holds her back while Uncle Sam exhorts them all the band together instead of resorting to in-fighting. Master strategist, that Uncle Sam…

Calling her "ma'am" is actually kind of charming.

               Next, we are treated to a page where each row of panels includes different heroes across different Earths are discussing their situation, having presumably been caught up on the details. Earth 1: Spectre, Deadman, and The Phantom Stranger are having a meeting of the Spooky Club. Earth 2 has Power Girl and Huntress [sidebar: Earth-2’s Huntress is the daughter of Bruce and Selina Wayne and she’s all kinds of cool].

Possibly a callback to Supergirl and Batgirl's scene from issue #4

Earth-X has clearly the most important characters ever: a pink “Dead Pirate Roberts” lookalike named Firebrand, a guy in a hazmat suit named Human Bomb, and Dollman. He seems to be about 10”, wears red ankle boots, and Dr Strange’s cape. Earth-4 has Blue Beetle, who must have since returned from the Exposition Asteroid, talking to Nightshade and Peacemaker. Earth-S features the Marvel family worrying about Captain Marvel, but it cannot go without saying how fun it is to see Beast Boy, who was one of the Earth-1&2 characters sent there last issue,  fluttering about as a pterodactyl, as is appropriate behavior for any megamorph when extinction is nigh.

               We return again to the Storytime Asteroid, where a large fighting force of heavy hitters has been gathered. It is explained that while Pariah can go to the next cataclysmic event, he can’t take people with them (that time he teleported Lady Quark to safety must have been a one-time deal), so Alex, being composed of both matter and anti-matter is the residential transit macguffin of COIE. Monitor instinctively knew this, which is why he sent for him in the first place. Sidebar, Alexander has grown to manhood and has a curly red mullet. Alexander opens a portal and the narration compares it to the parting of the Red Sea.

Christ imagery is heating up.

In this moment, Alexander, who like Kal-El, was put into a rocket as a baby and shunted off into space in order to avoid a genocidal event, officially becomes more of a Moses analogue than Superman. Pariah spells out what he said a page ago by saying that as part of his atonement, it’s his job to lead the heroes to the Anti-Monitor.

Moses powers are a go!

               The assembled heroes fly through the “cosmic membrane” and the narration is in full congratulatory tones. You can almost hear the intense orchestral John Williams music playing in the background. They arrive at fortress that looks like an ancient near eastern ruin floating in space. The heroes regard it as having never seen anything like it.

An evil lair as built by an ant colony.

               Inside, Anti-Monitor knows all, sees all and wants Psycho Pirate to use his powers to enslave the oncoming heroes, however, PP is tapped out from having used his abilities on the entire Earths of three different realities. Anti-Monitor is most displeased and smacks PP around before deciding it’s time to take matters into his own hands.

I get the feeling that Prof Stein is fucking with him.

               The heroes enter the outermost extremes of the fortress. Characters notice a) their powers don’t work here the same way as they do back in their world, b) they got into the fortress way too easily, c) they’re all feeling afraid of what is to come. Light appears in the mouths and eyes of the gargoyle-like statuary of the fortress and the very stone and mortar of the building shapes itself into limbs and stone golems assaulting the heroes. Lady Quark is beseeching the spirit of her husband to help her blast their foes to pieces. Earth-2 Superman is shocked to discover himself bleeding following a direct hit—Kryptonians, it seems are vulnerable here. They are barely holding their own. The only hero who seems to have an edge is Captain Atom. And it’s not even that great an advantage since his ability to smash them to bits is counteracted by their ability to reform themselves.

This either raises the stakes or belies the color of the sun.

               The party is split in the chaos. Superman-1 is looking for Pariah. Pariah needs to forge ahead along with Dr. Light while Superman-2 holds off the stone golems. Pariah is crushed by the very infrastructure of the fortress seconds before Superman-1 catches up. Timing is everything. Dr. Light suddenly has a really good focal point for her pent up irritation. “The Anti-Monitor is going to pay,” and flies off. She didn’t get the memo about Pariah’s immortality, but Superman did. He’s not entirely certain if she’s a hero or villain, but she seems to have the morally right agenda, so he chases after her.

Dr. Light has mastered both English and empathy in a short time.

               Supes reaches DrL. She’s vengeful not stupid, so she waited for him outside a chamber containing a solar collector, a massive machine she deduces Anti-Monitor is using to reduce the vibrational differences between the Earths. He asks if she’s certain. Come on, Clark. You’re a reporter. She’s got a PhD. A PhD in Science. Omni-disciplinary comic book science. She’s got this. She wants to take this tech home to study, but Superman is feeling pretty punchy. Before either can act on those urges, Superman is hit from behind with a powerful blast of bright white energy. His pain is so intense and so visceral, his scream appears as a sound effect instead of a word which Supergirl hears with her superhearing and flies off to his aid knowing full-well that she might be killed by something that can cause Superman to scream that way. Again, the narration might as well be giving the superheroes one big collective blowjob. EVERYTHING IS EPIC.

And I am not using that word lightly. Everything from this point and forward in the issue is worthy of viking songs or Klingon opera. The narration is beautifully purple and gives this half of the issue the emotional weight is richly deserves.

Idealism vs 80s grim-dark

               Anti-Monitor is smacking Superman around. Dr L intercedes and declares how murdery she’s feeling. Anti-Monitor either freezes her or teleports her away in an honestly cool looking silhouette panel. Supergirl catches up with Pariah, who senses tragedy is about to unfold and Supergirl rushes forth, determined to save her cousin, determined to take up the torch for him if she fails to save him.

           She catches her foe by surprised and gets in a few good punches, thrashing him about as she harangues him over all those lives now lost. He smacks her away sending her flying into a wall with only one hit. She grabs the stone floor and literally rips it out from under him, then resumes wailing on him and destroying his “life shell,” and destroying the solar collector in the process.

               Anti-Monitor’s proverbial kid gloves are off and he transforms into a creature of glowing red and white energy as he declares, “You, your cousin, your friends, your worlds all shall die with you!” The fortress shakes and Supergirl tasks Dr. L (whom she manages to really impress, which should not going unmentioned) with getting Clark out of there to safety and getting the heroes out of the EAMU. She flies directly into the glowing form of the Anti-Monitor, smashing him and soon she is consumed, glowing like the same red energy.

She turns around, telling Dr. L to make a run for it and Anti-Monitor takes the advantage, killing her. Without a body, that took a lot out of Anti-Monitor. He blasts off screaming “you’ll pay for this next time” like a Captain Planet villain.

               The building is crumbling to bits. While the rest of the heroes regroup out front, Superman-1 is still in the solar collector chamber surrounded by Dr. L and a few others, holding the dying body of Supergirl. She tells him how much she loves him and was inspired by him until her final breath. Superman-1 assumes the “scream at the heavens” position declaring he’ll kill Anti-Monitor for this while Superman-2 comforts him and preaches against vengeance for Supergirl’s sake.

               The fortress is still crumbling (it’s like quicksand—it really does take a while) and they need to escape before Alexander’s powers give out. They don’t want to end up like the Egyptians at the end of The Ten Commandments and that Red Sea is a bitch to get caught in. They fly back through, Superman-1 still carrying his cousin’s body.

EPILOGUE
               The five Earths are no longer at risk of destroying each other and the weird time anomalies have stopped, but they’re still interlocked and frozen in time and space.  A memorial is held in Chicago on Earth-1, news coverage airing. Batgirl delivers a eulogy intercut with images of the Daily Planet folks watching from their offices as well as heroes from multiple earths mourning for her in attendance.

               Superman takes her body, wrapped tightly in her cape now repurposed as a burial shroud, to the Fortress of Solitude. He reflects on all the hope and optimism of her when she first arrived on Earth, a young girl of 15 with nothing but her future ahead of her. From there, he takes her body out past Earth’s atmosphere and just lets it float around in the vacuum of space for eternity. Good lord, Superman—cremation is your friend. It wouldn’t surprise me if an alien villain had found her body and used it to reverse engineer an anti-Kryptonian weapon or zombifies her. Minor Spoiler: However, that didn’t happen. After this event, Supergirl is literally erased from existence. She never happened. That heroic sacrifice is utterly trivialized and her heartfelt requiem is obviated from memory.

DC probably didn’t realize quite what a “fuck you” it was to their audience, but it was hardly their last. As meaningful as the second half of this issue was, DC’s perennial tug of war it has between its need to sustain the iconic status quos of their major character and its creative teams’ need to have the space to tell new stories is one that invariably results in the status quo winning out. The impact of the stories they don’t tell are immaterial compared to the wills of an often capricious EiC. Part of what was decided when Crisis was planned was that they decided that there was simply too many Kryptonians running around, which diminished both the mysterious nature of Krypton and the isolated “god amongst men” aspect of Superman’s character. Of course, this didn’t last because nobody remains editor in chief forever. Jay Edidin of Jay and Miles X-plain the X-Men (listen to them, they are one of the best comics podcasts out there) once pointed that you can tell what the status quo was when a new editor-in-chief first started reading by what regressive changes s/he makes. However, inevitably, the next wave of creative talent comes into the different with a different status quo crystalized in their minds and can just as readily make their own resets in whatever contrived methods they choose based on a precedent that has its root right here. Such mentality in creative leadership is capricious and cyclical, and really puts on display creators’ unwillingness to grasp the fact that continuity and characterization marches on and their job is to be the torchbearers and not the gatekeepers of modern myth.

Despite that angry rant, I have to say that this issue is without a doubt the best so far in the series.  The issue does carry out some of my grievances from before during the first half of the issue, but it synthesizes them into something more cohesive. There is still a massive weight of DC cosmology exposition, but the writing doesn't try to fight against it like it has in previous issues. Yes, the Pariah and Lyla's exposition from the dawn of time is unwieldy, but it's finally providing some real, concrete answers so that the reader is finally given some solid footing in the narrative instead of just being told that the destructive force is the bad guy. Yes, there are the cast of thousands, but we most of them are largely left in the background and we narrow our focus on only a handful of characters so we feel engaged in the narrative. Then, once the narrative transitions to the raid on the anti-matter universe, the narrative transcends into something that truly feels epic, the narration becomes swells with the purpleness of its prose and you realize pretty quickly that out of the fodder of the first six issues has risen a truly standout piece of work that is a match for its iconic cover. Wolfman and Perez hit their stride with this series when they realized that one character's emotional experience and self-sacrifice and the resonance of her loss is more potent storytelling than checking in with hundreds of characters we don't have time to invest in. Taken out of the context of what came after, this is probably one of the most moving and earned comic book deaths I've ever read.